I am feeling really lonely and isolated today. I got drunk last night at home and spouted off on reddit all night. I can’t seem to keep secrets and I can’t seem to make friends who care enough to listen to me. Sure, I can go out into the world and make friends, but that won’t be the real relationships I crave where I can express myself as I am, like I can here, for example. Where I can talk about anything.
I would really like to have a penpal. I have two friends now with whom I correspond, but their responses takes days or weeks and it is never very deep. I’ve always been a thinking person and I really really miss deep conversations about what matters in life.
I didn’t start thinking until it was pointed out to me that I was mentally ill. I was active, but not doing anything particularly thoughtful. Some people teach that it is wrong to do a lot of thinking - one teacher even said it could cause suicide to think. I don’t believe that. Thinking includes defenses.
I mean the impression that I am getting here is that you wanted someone to talk to that can relate to your mental illness. That’s why I suggested those things.
I spent my youth and young adulthood thinking. It wasn’t until I got into the working world that I stopped making more philosophical friends. Everyone got caught up in technology and I couldn’t keep up.
I appreciated making blue collar working friends when I was out of school. I could do the college level work but somehow felt the thinking didn’t apply to me. Kind of like being on the outside looking in, intellectually. I think it’s because I missed out on some basic learning when I was a kid.
I understand what you’re going thru. I have a really hard time making friends cuz I feel awkward talking to people and trusting them. I’ve only started making friends at my day program in the last few months and tho it’s been a lot of hard work, I am beginning to feel comfortable with other people. I even invited two of them over last Saturday for a homemade lasagna dinner and I actually pulled it off. It’s been a long time since I’ve had genuine friends and now I get to where I feel really lonely when they’re not around. I had to tell myself constantly that they didn’t have an agenda, that they weren’t talking about me behind my back, and that they weren’t planning ways to hurt me…that was the hardest part for me.
So were you trying to be philosophical on Reddit last night? I don’t understand the not keeping secrets thing on reddit, but I guess that’s a long story. I know me personally when someone gets off on a tangent about their perspective of philosophy or religion I just tune it out or quickly say no, not gonna happen, but that’s not my thing. When you say you don’t think or get to talk to someone about your thoughts are you again just referring to philosophy?
I would love to have friends I could meet or even just chat with.
I have difficulties socialising .
I like to think I have friends in spirit and even best friends in spirit but I have not felt them lately and I really miss them and am feeling down and depressed today.
I am having breakfast with family tomorrow which is nice but even there I am not relaxed but it’s a bit awkward.
I love them but they try to think they are superior somehow and I don’t agree.im not in the army and I don’t want to salute anyone ever and it doesn’t suit me.not who I am and what I believe in.i don’t want to be suppressed or bossed about in any way I don’t approve of.
I feel so sad today.
Before I was so happy because I was feeling loved ones in me saying I’m their best friend and I haven’t felt them lately and miss them.
I miss cuddling.
I want to find a vegan partner but it may to soon to do so before my mum n grandma have been here because I can’t date while they are visiting n they will stay a few months I think.
Activities can help.
Weekends are more difficult for me I think.
I get so sad I just want to sleep and I’m in bed tired at 7.30 pm most nights including weekends.
I can’t think of any advice because I need some myself perhaps.
But activities can help and you can interact with people then which can be nice.
I talk a little with those I volunteer with.
I think they see me as “simple” and weird but they are patient and kind to me and we say a few sentences to each other when we volunteer together.
I am socially awkward though and I think I may come across as strange and “simple”.
Sometimes i feel a little lonely or isolated. I don’t have anyone else who has this diagnosis that i can talk to, and i don’t like talking about it with my partner because then he starts worrying about me. Why don’t you keep posting your thoughts on here? Plenty of caring people on this site. You can be yourself as much as you want.
and I’m in bed tired at 7.30 pm most nights including weekends.