Hugs to you. My dad went through something similar.
My 12 year old niece died of cancer after under treatment since she was four. So I know what you mean by the injustice. Sometimes we have to focus not on the number of years however short they lived but what they did with the time they had. My niece showed kindness, love, courage and much bravery during the whole time she was alive.
Your family member is a shining example of what itās like to get through a terrible journey with courage and fortitude. They give comfort to those going through similar journeys and they can lift up the people around them. So focus on the goodness that is occurring around your family and that they will leave a legacy that very few can.
I hope you can all find comfort in each other through the dark days. Help this family member have a wonderful life however long they are given. Hugs.
Iām so sorry. My cousin died from cancer in her twenties. In re: pain, tell her to ask for something stronger than morphine like delaudid or Demerol. It wonāt completely take away the pain, but those drugs are a lot stronger than morphine. I know from personal experience.
I think you should do anything that helps you cope except drugs or alcohol. They just make it worse. But if you feel like sitting and coloring, do it. If you feel like taking a hot bath, do it. If you need to go out of the house and walk or whatever, do it. You need coping mechanisms to get you though.
Also, anything you want to say to them, say it now. Donāt let yourself regret not saying it later when itās too late.
I lost a best friend to cancer at 29. It was tough. They had a daughter. His wife died of breast cancer about 5 years ago. Their daughter is a news anchor now. Neither one of them lived long enough to see it.
I hope they beat it.
That is so sad @TomCat
Iām sorry for your loss Aziz. In some situations these natural remedies work, as my grandfather was cured, but I believe itās relative to chance as well. In my opinion itās worth a try though.
Iām really sorry @Pikasaur. I faced this decision at age 17. I had the surgery, and am doing better now. But I had no relapses, and no major side effects from surgery. I can understand why they donāt want to face something even worse than seizures. At a certain point, you have to think about what exactly youāre trying to save, and who is benefitting. If they would rather have a few good months, instead of years being violently sick from chemo, they are old enough and have thought enough about what they truly want.
My dad chose to fight, even after things were really bleak and he was pronounced terminal. I hate to say it, but I wish he hadnāt. He died anyways. The chemo stretched his life by a few months, but he was so sick, and miserable, and his whole personality changed. It was terrifying to watch as a kid. In comparison, my grandpa was diagnosed with the same cancer a few months later. He chose to let it take its course. He died peacefully and ready to go. He was happy and it was almost beautiful watching him pass on. My dad died much more violently.
Anyways, go ahead and talk with me in PM if you want. I consider you to be a friend and I can definitely sympathize with the pain of losing someone so young.
Thinking of you and your family member at this time ((hugs))
As a person suffering from a rare degenerative muscle disorder, I would suggest him to be on a strong pain medication so that it would reduce the pain he is suffering from to a lesser degree.
I know how it feels to be someone who is getting worse over time. The thing is, he still has a chance to beat it. I am going to remain positive that his cancer will get better and he will recover from cancer.
When a person is diagnosed of a fatal or often dangerous disease that threatens life, the first thing they often think of is āOh my god, am I going to die in pain in absolute agony?ā Thatās what I thought of when I got diagnosed with this muscle disorder, and I (bad choice) saw the pictures of poorly emaciated people with the same muscle disorder, with distorted club feet and lax joints. It was a terrifying period of time. I still think about it. I still think about it every time a child dies due to complications from my muscle disorder, and it terrifies me because I think Iām going to end up like that.
All you can do is hope- hope that he will conquer cancer and he will recover from it. And if he doesnātā¦you have to be there by his side and support him. To a sick person, moral support is extremely important. Even though the support I get from my Canadian and online friends is virtual, I often feel comforted by them because they understand me. Just be there for him and accompany him through his journey with his cancer.
Also, if it helps him at all, I can give moral support to him as well as a person with a degenerative disease- I, in fact, am slowly declining as well. I lost a lot of my mobility and I will continue to do so. Maybe I will be on a wheelchair, who knows. So if heās up for that, I can do that.
All the best.
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