My pdoc told me last year during one of my appointment with him.He said “Do what people of your age do”.
What I do is I follow my parents advice,which is to go to work,and I had a good work attendance but not having a good focus with my work.I spend the whole day at work not really productive and I feel I can do more in life.After work I workout and then play some games and go to sleep.
Some people of my age live the way like mine.I am not a pro-active person but I am kind and never do evil or harmful things to others.Did I miss out of having more relationship because of a lot reason?
Going to karaoke session with friends,pub or disco?It seems I can do these yet I cannot for reason like social avoidance,no interest in those…
On the other hand,I at least had a gaming life,played Football and I had a routine in life too
Thanks for reading,
Positive part of this life:listened to my parent and family advice
Negative part of this life:Not trying out things in life.Like I had this thought of trying eveyday staying at home and play games but I worry I might get more inactive with people
Ideal life:Be more active,socialable and couragable to try things
It’s really all in my head…
I have no doubt that I missed out on a lot by being mentally ill. I’m 56, and I never have and never will have kids. I missed out on a wealth of experiences because of that, but I was also relieved of a lot of worry. If I was a father I would be scared to death that my kids were doing the things I did when I was a kid.
There’s plenty of time left If and when you choose to do different things.
It took me until I was in my 40’s before I started to be more social and actually want to talk to others.
I’m now 50, and still have no desire to venture out into the world.
Thanks man,yes I rather missed out on some experience than having lots of worry to make mental health worst
What makes you want to be more social?Is it related to life changing experience,with time or is it with some medication changes?
Maybe it had to do with the meds, and all the hospitalizations I’ve had, or even my age.
At 40, it became pretty clear that all those things I worried so hard about when growing up-really didn’t matter in the long run.
I kinda of gave up trying so hard to fight things,and instead, sat back, relaxed, and actually found life more enjoyable.
“Go with the flow” as the saying says, because life happens anyway, and sometimes when you stop trying to force things to go your way, they will naturally fall your way when the time is right.
@Csummers you sounds pretty comfortable and know how to live your life…that’s cool
I am still trying to find my way,i had to choose and not make bad decision at the same time enjoy life too
You are doing half of what you need to do. I wouldn’t wait around to become 40 or 50 or 73, which is my age. It is admirable that you are following your parents advice. No one does that in this country (the US). But you would like to maybe follow the slightly nagging voice of society telling you to socialize more. Look for your limitations due to this illness. Find out what is impeding you. You will soon enough find out what you can and can’t do. Look for a role model, a mentor, someone who can genuinely help you in the long run.
As long as your enjoying life then your doing well.
Just don’t let the fear of making bad decisions or stop you from trying new things.
If some decisions have turned out, uh, not so well,don’t dwell on them, but,
Simply brush yourself off,hold your chin up, then move on to something else,
oh look, there’s something shiny! (distraction works wonders too)…
Life is there to enjoy. Do what you can do within your limitations like @martinhersey have said. I’ve done alot of nightclubbing and drinking and playing pool and stuff like that. It was fun while it lasted but it comes with a lot of wrongs like drunken driving and other immoral stuff of which I regret a lot of. If you are content to surf the Internet or read books and do stuff with your parents and it makes sense and makes you feel good then you should do exactly that. Life is about enjoying the moment and if you can do it with other people then it is just so much more fun. Social life is very difficult with this illness but it is how we build some memmories. If you enjoy this forum then it is part of you enjoying life and then you’re busy NOT missing out.
Yes man with this illness a lot of things which had got to do with people will be limited for me but not for all People,as some with sz still can be socialable.I am not a social person but when on the Internet,typing on the forum or instant messages I could express more freely…also when i go to play football I can be a little more sociable…I would love to play more football and start making some friends there but I am very unfortunate that I keep getting injured there
We can still do things,enjoy stuff even with one of the most disabling disease
You haven’t missed much. I had a pretty active social life up until I got sick. For my personality type it was as much of a burden as anything else. Went bowling, went to the bars, drank and smoked weed with a ■■■■ load of people. Added up to nothing. Only people I hang out with now are my brother and his room mates and their friends.
I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything.
Wish my symptoms would stop so I could work and move out. Tried everything.
It’s good you have work going for you.
There is still a lot of time. All you need is a few buddies and a girl friend. You’d make up for all the lost time.
Are there any mental illness support groups or group therapy places you could attend?
School is also another route. Most schools here have disability services which make things a little easier and might help you find people.
Other then that we’ll be here if you need to chat.
Onwards and upwards.
Hey gtx. You seem like a really switched on sort of guy. The coping skills you learn by enduring such mental illness will help you whatever you choose to do with your life. Your current situation sounds pretty normal for a guy your age. If you want to socialise more I am sure you could turn your hand to that. Whatever gets you through the day with this condition.
It’s a great thing you enjoy playing football so much. Do you go to the matches even when injured, to support your team, maybe act as a linesman? Would be good to stay in touch as much as possible with your mates. It’s a very good basis to build a social life from, if thats whats worrying you. You got lots of teammates to talk to and hang out with after matches and practice, you already got a common interest to start off conversation - like talking about tactics or big footballteams/players. Engage with them and things will come from it. You can easily suggest to hang out with a couple of teammates and have a few drinks or play games together. I bet you got the FIFA or PES games? have a tournament with your mates!
Yes I do,I enjoy playing football and I feel more alive at the football pitch of court.Now I had one matter that worrys me,which is injuries…@Resilient1 mentioned I am very unfortunate and he is right,I am now having three injuries within the space of 5 months while playing football and most recent a concussion,I still had dizziness now but I read that it will mostly be gone after 6 weeks…I hope if I play in the future I won’t be injured anymore,I would play if my dizzines is gone,but thank you,it’s really one of the hobbies I enjoy and will probably keep going
I don’t know man. I’ll just raise the counter point. On one hand it’s awesome that you enjoy football and I know how important it is to you. I think most of us are jealous as we are out of shape and unfit for sport.
The injuries could be a sign that it’s not good for you.
I wouldn’t give up just yet. Once you heal up I’d continue to play. Just make sure that if you continue to get injured you’ll know when to stop.
You can always take to jogging/biking/ lifting weights to get exercise.
Take care of yourself man.
Thank you,I don’t know why am I prone to injury,probably due to inexperience…now the enthusiasm on football for me is doing good for my mental health,yes it is bad for my physical Health when I get injured.My parent doesn’t like me playing football too but I will see if I get the feeling that I should stop I will…my psychologist said my hobbies can help me improve my mental health and I certainly agree…just that I hope this concussion symptoms of dizziness would go away,if not I really woulf not be able to continue play
I am wondering if my passion on my hobbies could be move to passion in other area,like dating,other stuff in life?I am less fearful as a person when playing soccer…