One week prior to my first psychosis, I ingested a large dose of LSD. It must have been ~500mcg+. I experienced loss of ego, self and my conscious beliefs. I was unable to verbalise much. I didn’t know my name or who I was, nor did I know where I was from. It wasn’t a negative experience. But there were elements that scared me.
Now, one way of looking at this was that due to the intensity of this experience, my belief system (at least at a conscious level) was ”loosened” and thrown in to my unconscious. It’s possible that this also happened to my sub-conscious beliefs.
My ego/self and beliefs returned gradually as I neared the end of the trip. However I feel that it is possible that whatever “metaphysical glue” was fixing those beliefs to their respective containers (full and/or sub-conscious) was loosened. Or made softer and more malleable. Therefore, when one week later, I was exposed to stressors, one of those sub-conscious beliefs (my partial awareness around the principle of reciprocity) came “un-stuck” and transitioned from my sub-conscious to my conscious mind.
Where initially it presented a “pressure” that I was consciously aware of. That I observed and attempted to analyse in context of all of my other knowledge and beliefs. Finally, through research and talking to people – I managed to put a name to this particular belief or principle.
My next two psychoses were triggered by my becoming aware of certain strange or bizarre things that were unexpected. These were not social constructs like Reciprocity – but nevertheless they were things that I had not previously experienced. Things that made me feel threatened.
And I believe that this is the other “required attribute” for a person to progress from simply delusional due to a lack of knowledge, all the way in to a psychosis. I believe that there needs to be some kind of threat to their well-being or sanity. One that might begin as mild worry, progress to paranoia then make its way in to full on paranoid psychosis.
Finally, Within my fourth psychosis, I believe that I had lost site of the Reciprocity principle once again, and in doing so did not handle a situation in the most appropriate way, causing retaliation and fear which had flow on impacts.