It was okay, a lot of peace, but I never really got to experience a lot of life
My life was fragmented, it was never in one piece. I don’t think its pieces will be put together ever. Maybe that’s why they call schizophrenia split mind, they still do in some countries like Japan I think.
Life was pretty difficult when I was younger. I was abused.
So… to be honest, after the onset of psychosis, I don’t see much of a difference.
I had a will of my own before I accepted that I am sz. Now it seems I am at the will of others, to help me with my sz and life. I could push myself through bad feelings with my will. Now I can not push myself through any bad feelings, or doing things I dont feel like. Before I would push myself through the times when I did not feel like getting up for work. Or training for sports. Or a career and family. Now I just want to get through the rest of my life only doing things I feel like doing, and if I dont feel like doing them I cant push myself to do them. This is where medication has helped me feel like doing things again.
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