I was a bright teenager at a prestigious high school, planning on joining ROTC. I had the GPA, brains and composure of someone who would have made a good officer, but I was also a bit of a mad dog. I lifted weights, took krav maga lessons, and ran every day. The reality is that I would have likely been an officer in one the most aggressive outfits. I blame my preoccupation with violence on being molested, bullied, and surviving a near death experience as a child.
Now, in remission (I was unmedicated and an alky for a year and a half) I am a peaceful, medicated psychology student, with a full scholarship and good friends. I think schizophrenia maybe saved my life. It’s been a blessing and a curse for me- I will never take a life, instead I plan on going to graduate school and working in a mental hospital, with the hope of saving people who are just like me.
I am a completely different person- my outlook on life is the opposite of what it used to be. I was a nihilist.
What’s your story?