I spend a lot of time blaming my parents for my situation. They had a disaster of a marriage and did a terrible job raising me. I know I wasn’t an easy kid to raise but I think a lot of that was because of how hostile the environment I grew up in was. I have these wonderful memories of time a spent with my aunt and can’t help but think maybe if I was raised by her I could have avoided this situation. I know it’s not healthy to obsess about the past. I know I’d be better off if I let go, but man. The resentment feels like it’s seeped into my bones and part of me feel like in someway it’s better then playing make believe with them (my dad doesn’t take an ounce of responsibility and he was the biggest perpetrator). I don’t know. I’m becoming a hateful person and I don’t wanna be one but it’s hard to forgive when your still in pain.
I would write letters to them. You don’t have to send them, but write down all of your feelings. This might help you release.
I could have written your original post lol.
I know you’re not an alcoholic but if you Google “alcoholic anonymous step 4 resentments” you’ll get a lot of information on how to handle resentment.
IDK, the easiest thing to say is you’re an adult now and you’re responsible for your own actions, and it’s up to you to run your own life the way you want it to the best of your ability. The past is the past and what counts is now. You got the short end of the stick when it came to parents but now you can change yourself and be the person you want to be. if your parents are so terrible, don’t repeat their mistakes. You can still be a good person. I know all this is easy to say but hard to do, but you got the rest of your life to work on yourself and your life.
I told my dad he treats me like I would never treat a person today. I am getting fed up. I mean he never did adultery or drugs or alcohol or beat me. But he is an creep when it comes to money.
I believe I have free will. I can remember the moments I made bad decisions. I empower myself by taking responsibility. I don’t have complete free will. I can choose to forgive can’t I? I felt cheated. I felt like a million years of good karma was wasted. So I was really mad most of my life and it just about killed me. I knew I had to forgive. I then realized that I’d been believing falsehoods. I was wrong. I can appreciate the good things my parents did. My parents were not great and not terrible.
Practice kind self talk, it’s going to take a long long time. I have resentment towards parents too. But it’s their first time living too. It’s their first time being parents. Have faith you’ll come out stronger.
Oh okay how dare your tornadoes speak. Oklahoma.
By eating more cookies.