This comes up in therapy here and again but I have serious resentment toward my Dad, whom I live with. He STILL has the capacity to be abusive but the real damage was when I was growing up. He was a selfish alcoholic who was extremely emotionally abusive and neglectful. He was in his own selfish, depressed, angry, alcoholic world. Suffice it to say my childhood of abuse and neglect has had a huge impact on my life. I don’t think I would be so re-pissed if I hadn’t hit utter bottom and was forced to move in with him. You are REALLY piss poor when you have to move in with your fat, old c*nt of a father! He is in complete denial. In fact, if the mood strikes him, he can be very abusive even today. Problem is, I can’t get thrown out on my azz so I have to just deal with it. A lot of the time he is normal toward me but it is hard to appreciate because of the negative past. My therapist said most abusive parents are in total denial and act like nothing happened. He said it’s common. I’m just having a bitter moment thinking about all his shyt.
At least you recognize you’re in fact ruminating over your past and you’ve identified your feelings about it. That’s all necessary in processing trauma. If you’re not the type that does well with counseling try doing it for yourself by writing out what happened to you, how you feel about it, how you think it affects you today, and what you can do about it. Chip away at those rusty chains
I don’t really care who drinks, but I just don’t want to have to deal with them, I don’t drink and way back when I did I would consider myself to be a a$$.
Would hate to live with a drinker now
I think back on abuse and sometimes get so upset that you’d think it happened yesterday. I believe that’s because I kept everything inside. When I did say something, no one listened.
When I lived with my folks as an adult to raise my son, sometimes my mom was still passive-aggressive and manipulative. She knew I had to be there to keep my son, but sometimes she felt sorry for herself and picked fights with me… Anyway, she’s passed now and I miss her, but I still hate the ways she neglected and hurt me.
Relationships with parents are complicated.
I guess I’d try to stay away from your dad as much as possible. That difficult and I’m sorry you have that added stress. 
Ya, the good thing is he is out of town for 6 months out of the year. He goes to Thailand every Winter. I have 2 more months without him then he is back for 6 months. Even though he is normal or nice much of the time, he has the capacity to be very abusive. He thinks nothing of it. He thinks it is OK to talk that way to me. The sad truth is I am never at ease around him. It’s hard to be when you have past hurt and fear of it happening again. But, you’re right in your advise to stay away. When he is home I stay at school to do homework as long as possible or I go to Starbucks and hang out as long as possible. Hopefully, when I graduate I can get a good job and afford to move out.
I know this is a little different that what a lot of people are saying but I think you should forgive your father. It does nothing to keep that pent up. I mean he is supporting you now.
I do forgive my father. That doesn’t mean I don’t still have pain. It would sure be nice if we could just ‘zap’ our feelings away. Doesn’t work like that though. I am half tempted to say “Hey, your right! I’m all better now. Problem solved”
people typically drink for a reason
is he divorced or a widower?
Has he been through trauma?
The hardest thing for a young person
is to see through the eyes of an older person.
That’s good to make goals and focus on them.