Believe that that is still in you somewhere.
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I never had much feelings in my life. I was so happy as a child and I knew so little of pain. I just realized this. It’s painful to not feel. I don’t like the word depression. I feel mental pain. It’s a real problem. Other people have noticed it about me. I feel abnormal and inferior because of it.
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Beating it might not be accurate, but I think it has improved. I’m enjoying tv shows to some extent and I am enjoying my electrical work results. It’s still not like it was pre sz and meds though. So, I dunno. I think it’s improving. I hope it will continue to improve more.
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I don’t enjoy things as much now compared to my life before antipsychotics.
I kind have to push myself to watch tv or listen to music but once I’m engaged I’m happy I did.
But yeah I used to be an artist, a poet a creative person.
Today I have a hard time being creative.
It’s pretty sad.
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Occasionally I wake up in a non anhedonic mood, but it only lasts like a couple minutes. Idk why it is, but hopefully I can figure it out. I think our dopamine receptors are wrapped in inflammation or something.
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Actually, that’s not true, I thought I just woke up feeling non anhedonic. But my brain feels seriously f’d up. Wonder if I have a b12 deficiency or something, and if that can cause anhedonia.
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B12 deficiency can only be known with an exam. But if you have Negative Symptoms, B12 probably won’t help you enough.
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I’ve lost interest in a lot of activities/hobbies I used to have (disc golf, video games, playing sports), but I’ve adopted newer hobbies as I’ve changed (smoking meat, watching sports, walking the dog). Little things like that. I still have anhedonia pretty bad, but I think our interests/hobbies change as we grow older.
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I tried, sucked at things, got pissed about it, and then tried even harder until the limits started moving back. This is all I can recommend. You’re also gonna crash and burn a lot, look like an ass a lot, and have to be willing to get up for an even worse thrashing the next time.
SZ is relentless. You have to be even more so.
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I love this.
15
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Yeah actually it’s like training to improve performance in a sport. You have to really push your boundaries to move the limits further.
One strategy I took from someone was to do 1 difficult thing everyday. That way I get used to being uncomfortable.
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Very cool and smart advice.
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Like even if that difficult thing for you is do some dishes. That’s a win.
I took a 40 minute walk today!
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That is a feat.
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