I have everything and consider myself lucky but I never feel good. I think its the anhedonia aka lack of dopamine like my pdoc told me. I hangout with friends every week and we talk everyday as a group, I have money, goes to vacations abroad, etc Even when I used to work I didn’t feel good. I never feel good. I feel good or euphoria from dopamine meds and supplements but they make my positive symptoms worse. I just want to be as happy as before sz or as others.
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I thought serotonin ADs would help but serotonin supplements only made me worse, feel like a dumb robot. My Drs never wanted to prescribe me ADs but I did try Wellbutrin, made positive symptoms worse.
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Everyday I am thinking about taking a huge dose of my dopamine supplement but I know I will end up in mental hospital. I feel like its a death sentence.
I don’t have the same problem, but I never really feel good no matter what. My life is so boring and meaningless. I just wake up at 6am go to work, eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch everyday, go home eat dinner and then go to sleep at 8:30 and repeat. I don’t have anhedonia but there’s no hedonism in my life at all.
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I also didn’t feel good when I used to work since sz. Something in my brain was changed by sz. I wish Drs had solutions other than telling me its low dopamine. I feel like it would have been better if they never told me that truth as there is no solution.
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I just want to have fun again like I did before sz.
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You’re also getting older too, people have less fun as they get older. When you’re a kid you can have fun doing stupid stuff, as you get older less stuff is fun to do.
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I am still young, only 32y.o. I see my 76y.o. father having much more fun and laughing than me. He is also much more active than me.
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Also I have been like that since 21y.o. when I got sz. Nothing has changed since then.
Ya I know, I guess I was trying to make you look at your situation a little differently. It’s shitty we got sz.
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I haven’t found this to be the case. I’m really enjoying my hobbies. Maybe even more so now as my knowledge and skill have increased to the point where I produce much better results than I was able to in my youth. I’m also enjoying new music, new TV shows, and I love playing with new tech. Having gone from clunky computers and clumsier media to the current entertainment options is wonderful to me. I’m looking forward to more changes.
That shot? The technology to create it didn’t exist thirty years ago. Now I can do stuff like that with ease.
Life is good.
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I am not myself anymore since sz. My personality got worse, everything is ■■■■ now. Life feels fake and everything seems fake. I feel fake too, not same person as before sz. I wish I can end all this.
Can’t say I haven’t thought the same thing. Seems like you got into a negativity spiral there. It’s sometimes easy to think negative, like when you feel shitty. You will feel a bit better later and post some news or something don’t worry.
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Honestly the only thing stopping me from ending it all are my parents. They cried when I was twice in the emergency because of almost successful suicide attempts.
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My parents are keeping me on track too.
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I hope things get better @Aziz.
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Funny thing that when I take dopamine I feel more positive. I read online that a lack of dopamine causes hopelessness and despair, low willpower and low self confidence etc
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You need smart drugs that only give dopamine to that part of the brain.
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I’m sorry you’re feeling bad my fellow canadian. Just remember, things can change and improve for you. Don’t give up.
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Wellbutrin made my positives worse too, at first, but after a few weeks they went away. Will your doctor really not prescribe any other antidepressants? That seems kinda strange. I’m struggling with anhedonia too recently. I switched to caplyta about a month ago and it keeps my psychotic symptoms under control and I’m losing weight, but for some reason I don’t enjoy anything anymore. Not sure if I should just go back to abilify and remain fat or stick with caplyta.
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