I have lectures everyday. Yes, everyday. Although, I go to my lectures only few days per week. Mostly on Monday and Friday. Anyway, it’s not about my attendance. I have many reasons why I’m not attending, such as lack of motivation and energy, can’t wake up early in the morning, paranoia etc.
I’m gonna talk about - paranoia.
The problem is that I’m scared of my course mates.
Every time they laugh, I feel like they’re laughing of me.
Every time they talk, I feel like they’re talking about me.
Ok, I can handle this feeling over the break somehow, because I’m not being close to them. But I can’t avoid it over the class, they do talk, yes they do and I feel so paranoid so I can’t concentrate on what the professor is talking about!
Something that is hard to beat without proper meds that work for you, I found over the years there are some fears you can face head on and over come them for the most part on meds, but without the meds it all comes back.
I used to get that at college
Waiting for class once my fellow students were standing at a different door and I thought it because they didn’t want stand near me then I realise that there was a room change not me
If you could maybe smile at a fellow student or say hi you might find they are ok
Does your school have a disability services center? A lot of students here have special accommodations that allow them to miss class without being penalized for it.
Medication helps me get over my paranoia. So does neurofeedback. A lot of other folks say CBT helps them with their paranoia. These are all good things to look into.
Bummer. I think, right now, your main focus should just be on stabilizing. That means taking your medication as prescribed, eating healthily, and being very gentle with yourself. You just had an episode, and it takes time to recover from those.
I can’t get anywhere with CBT unless meds are taking the edge off, personally. Doesn’t have to be entirely. Just a toehold.
I’m not sure how appropriate this is but there’s this book I found insightful. It’s called The Four Agreements. The four agreements are:
Be impeccable with your word
Don’t take anything personally
Don’t make assumptions
Always do your best
I think the reason I found it helpful from a social anxiety standpoint is it is really good at explaining how everyone is in their own reality. It’s a short book
My pdoc finally beat my persistent and severe paranoia by using three antipsychotics at once on me. That’s the only thing that did the trick. I highly recommend this strategy. One of my antipsychotics is an injectable.