During my episode my delusions become so severe that i totally believe in it, and than couple of hours latter it becomes less and i start not believing on it an hour latter its severe again, thats how it happens with me, but since i don’t become psychotic often i don’t have much experience on how i should handle my delusions next time.
I can compare my episode to being in an ocean or other world of thoughts that I know are true. I live in there most of the time but come up to the surface occasionally to catch a breath of air that can last anywhere from one second to a few hours and sometimes I spend time surpressing it down like one foot in one foot out for several days until it grabs my leg and jerks me back in.
Some delusions are so sever and so deeply engrained that they never leave me and have a lingering affect on me, and dictate how I run my day. Some I can use as a reality check. When I hear myself saying a few specific things, I know it’s a hard night coming. But I’m ready.
Some are quickly passing and I can sort of shake them off. The ones that get an extra boost from a hallucination are hard to shake off. But the next day I can sort of recheck and see that it didn’t happen.
Delusions are one of my stronger or intense symptoms. I can be totally immersed into them, totally believing in them. Nothing but certain antipsychotic meds will lift me out of them. I was delusional for a long stretch of time, I was so convincing many believed me.
My “delusions”, as others may call them, have not ever waxed nor waned from my minds thinking that they are anything other than absolute reality.
In time perhaps, others might realize this is the truth, but, really, I seriously doubt anyone but me cares.
I know what you mean. I’ve realized the only times I experience issues is when I’m off the Abilify or I’ve been put on something else that triggered it. I was on stimulants for awhile for ADHD, but I was taken off them because they risk relapse. I only took them so I could learn to drive since I thought that I was too spacey and nervous. Within a week of starting Vyvanse I passed the license test. My psychiatrist tries to be careful, but she knows I’m trying to fit in with the world and that not being able to focus is a problem.
my delusions are improved, but they were severe for a while. I had a wide range of them- from celebrities watching me, to the FBI watching me to research psychologists watching me. I realized I was delusional when I noticed that the people watching me changed, but the fact that i was being watched didnt.
I had such an experience lately where I had a very strong delusion that didn’t sound logical to me at all, even that I was 100% sure that my delusion was true, but I kept reminding my self that I have SZ and it’s a delusion because of it does not happen in this reality…I kept reminding my self that until the psychosis washed away.
My delusions are more likes reading people wrong, but to an extreme degree. Paranoid like everybody means me harm. But I get a glimpse of reality(rarely) when I see that people don’t mean me harm and in fact barely notice me. I like being anonymous and not standing out in public.
Most of my delusions I think are were real and likely I always will. Like, when the TV talked to me, or when I thought I was a messenger of God, or conspiracies surrounding my birth and life. I think I will always believe them all still, even when “non” delusional. You just have to have been in my head. You would believe them too.