I check back maybe a couple times a day. But i will browse all night when i cant sleep. Ill create 20 topics or comments in an hour when i feel a little manic, but havent been in that state too much lately. If people comment on my topics or comments i will go on endlessly and it excites me to no end and makes me a little giddy when my icon lights up (like a little school girl who suddenly feels popular!)…“they like me, they really like me!”…
Its nice not having to hide my true self since nobody really knows me anyway. For all i know this could all just be another delusion lol! I enjoy trying to help others with my experiences, limited as they may be. And i love nothing more than talking about myself!
I have only been a member since july 1 and this is my new staple bordering on obsession at times. Ive got a full day of read time on over 3200 posts, in 29 days, is that excessive?!? Thanks to everyone for inspiration, entertainment, and encouragement. It is hard to find elsewhere at times. But just wanted to thank everyone and let you all know you have helped me a great deal in short time ive been participating…tear…sniffle…sniffle. thanks everybody especially the admins!
Yay!! you made my icon light up again!! Yay!! Hahaha. I am cracking myself up today. I am my own comic relief and laugh at my own jokes too much i think. But screw 'em if they cant take a joke, right! I think i post comments just to entertain myself most of the time and giggle endlessly at my own wit. Cuz nobody else sure gets me! Hahaha. I feel like the Joker most of the time, full of darkness and pain with a hearty childish sense of humor (which ive just regained after about 2 months of deep depression). So everyone please excuse me while i make jokes for only myself to laugh at! Hahaha
Guess im just in a good mood, hoping for that instead of going manic. Cant tell the difference sometimes. But here’s hoping. Hoping its better than …“heeerrrre’s johnny!”…man i crack myself up and just cant be serious today. I like it when my voices tell jokes and laugh at the ones i make, is that bad? Im just lusting for laughs today! Im hopeless, lol!!
Im just entertaining myself!! Hopefully… 2nd week of new med regiment so i think im starting to feel like my old self again, or maybe a whole new self, or maybe half and half. Call me arnold palmer i guess, hahaha (nobody prob gets that one, but hey it was for me anyway!). Whether thats good or bad we have yet to determine!! But as long as im happy and not depressed either works for me!! Lol. But i have a hard time telling the difference between manic and just a good mood. They may be the same for me, who knows, but i kind of like being manic. Its the me ive always wanted to be, aside from going completely off the wall when it gets out of control. Man if somebody could bottle mania i would prob drink that kool-aid, then id go bust thru someones wall!! Hahahaha. See nothing but witty commentary that only i enjoy. But hey, i only talk to myself because sometimes i need expert advice!! …rimshot…
I know @Minnii most of those comments were said in jest. I dont want to give anyone the wrong idea, i was just kinda rambling conscious stream of thought, welcome to my head sort of thing.
I do however find myself enjoying a slight manic episode as bad as it may be, mostly prob because it tends to follow a depressive episode for me. Its when i actually want to do things and accomplish goals as opposed to my usual depression, anxiety, paranoia, psychosis sleep all the time except for when i cant cycle i have been in most recently. Ive also Been going thru almost biweekly med adjustments and stressed to the max so it has really sent me for a loop as of late, but its nice to feel like a real live human again ("…hes a real boy…"). But as @Minnii stated…<frowny face, pointed finger poster> Mania is bad! (…mmmkay…) and can be very damaging and i am trying to keep myself in check but it cant be totally bad to have a few laughs at my own expense sometimes. I am my own worst critic most of the time but also my own personal comic relief as said before!!
Seriously tho Thanks @Minnii for keeping me grounded!! Your so wise!! (See this is why i love the forum!! ) <…heart with arrow thru it…> Your the best Minnii!!
Worst comes to worst at least i am entertaining someone other than myself. Every cloud has a silver lining…Or they are just black and rain on you. Damn clouds cant ever make up their minds.
Honesty is always the best policy. Always better than most foreign policies, even tho truth sometimes seems foreign to me most times. See my wit is endless!!! Lmao!!!
It really depends on my attention span and if I’m in the middle of a conversation with someone or not. Usually twice a day, once in the morning/afternoon, the other before bed. If I’m chatting with someone or ask a question when I’m in the middle of an attack I’ll come on more frequently like 2/3 times and hour.
my stats board says:
563 Days visited.
5 days read time.
24.1K posts read.
410 hearts given.
1 bookmarked.
102 topics created.
1.4 K posts created.
1.1k likes.
I think we started it around 1996 - but we’ve changed the software (and lost the previous messages) a number of times - the most recent update on the software for the forums was something like 2 years ago. (so in these forums you can only go back that far).
