Apart from sza which is a part of me, I also see myself as a wife, daughter, aunt, South African, Muslim, hippie, environment lover, bird lover, writer, artist, bookworm and coffee lover etc
So yes I am more than my sza, although it has reached far influence into my other parts
The biggest part of my identity was that of artist, writer, singer/performer. Just an all around creative. It colored everything I did. Since my last big break in September '19 and APs, though, it’s been hard to connect to that. I know it exists, but it’s far away.
I identify as a Bi-Sexual Man that has terribe dysfunctional relationships with women lol.
All the blokes here are either aggresive - or so bloody camp they flaunt it, which is a turn off for me.
They expect you to bonk on the first date.
That’s an unusual and funny response. For some reason I didn’t think of sexual identity.
whether through meditation, yoga, art, or what you’re reading, i think it’s cool how you’ve allowed yourself to explore spirituality in your own way. as you continue to do so and remain open to change, i’m sending good vibes your way. when i was ill, many of my delusions were based in spirituality and enlightenment, so i’ve less explicitly been pursuing a spiritual path due to being triggered. but i think i’m slowly finding my way back to it. like you, art has been an important avenue for exploration.
Sorry im in a deep an meaningful mood. Im trying to work out my actions.
Ive had wanting partner a on my mind. 
I have a psychological war with myself.
Sorry to hear that. I hope you resolve what you’re going through. I like the way you responded. It just didn’t come to mind.
Thats ok . I think i need a topup of meds in all honesty 
That’s fair enough lol
It’s something I have, not something I am. I’m a husband, father, citizen, artist, gamer, goofball, cat aficionado, gourmet, hiker, etc. I do all of these things in spite of head, heart, and diabetes issues.
It’s not going anywhere was what I was trying to say
Learning to live with it and beat it should be everyone’s goal
I still have my money on you to go places.
I just don’t care about spit anymore. A revelation gives me a fix for but a moment and another piece of me dies with it.
My identity almost completely disappeared around the sz, cause i am sick since child… you still can become yourself again, but it takes courage, will, treeatments, self love, support lol…
And just dont be hard on yourself as i was it lol 
Its in there you still 
i even doubted that i am human before, because of my sz, no one will treat you or judge you so severely as i was doing it on myself…
What helps me sometimes is that i really take my sz as some other illness like the diabetes for example… and in fact, this is true…
I try to chase the doubts too lol…
I have a split mind. What is broken is my self! I’m nothing with this illness. I have no identity. Except the man who is ill. A broken being. That’s it!
Have been sz for 20 years. I dont really identify with it. I dont tell anybody i have it. I dont try to cultivate a sz persona such as espousing conspiracy theories, acting disorganized such as writing and speaking without conventions or encouraging delusions. I do have interests and traits that are influenced by sz such as some philosophical interests or being asocial and individualistic. Sometimes I wonder if I didnt develop sz if I would be the same person.
Sorry if this is a difficult thing to bring up. I imagine its really hard for you, losing your passions and a big part of who you are. I so wish you the best.
I guess there are conspiracy theories certain figures espouse as Church and pariah so to speak but just play on peoples minds who have certain vulnerabilities. Others I can see you can sift through some things said that are to be taken more metaphorically or suggestively of systematic failures of ecomomy or governance. I have experienced in the past some kind of conspiracy views. That were deluded. But now it helps to see what was underlying my paranoia, anxiety, insecurity, fear. And i’m finding it was also due to my own lack of insight about the world and how many ideas are there to believe and sift through and deciding what’s true for yourself can be a very difficult process. But there was a weakness there aside my confusion about meaning about the world, ideas about the world. That made me vulnerable. Now i expose myself to ideas I thought i couldn’t tolerate at some points to now weirdly be able to look at them more benignly so as i’m not as effected by them. I think because now i’m able to understand why they are not reasonable for me to see as important. I also think reading philosophy can be like a wound that has to heal. As you become saturated with an idea. It leaves a trace in your psyche that is personal to yourself and your struggles.
yes, I am a sz, but I live a different life now that I am stable and I see myself as an artist and musician, and author. It takes a while to be happy I think for most of us sz’s. don’t give up.
I hope you’re right. Little difficult to see anything happening with how things are right now
Trying to keep a level head, as delusional thinking is plaguing me at the moment, and I am spending much of the time trying to keep myself in check
This Flupentixol needs to start working
