How do you forget schizophrenia if it was too severe for you?

DX'd - Other
1

It stripped me of everything. I was an A+ student and wanted to get in medschool. I got sz, became violent (homicidal and suicidal) and ended up with a physiotherapy degree instead doing 5 semesters while on Abilify. I said ok thats cool at least I got a physiotherapy degree so I tried to work starting as a small gym manager and as a paramedic in the gym. I just lasted one week before bursting. It was paid 28$/h back in 2011.

Then I said ok maybe its just stress so I worked at a credit card company and just lasted 2 weeks until I quit by myself from stress. I then lowered the stress more by doing a physical job in a supermarket, lasted 2 weeks. Then worked at a videogames company 4 weeks before exploding. Then I said fk work its unhealthy. Then I had spending issues and I couldnt keep a single dollar in my bank account, got in debts on my Visa, parents paid my debts and I cancelled my Visa.

Negative symptoms gradually got worse and now I am in bed 90% of my time, 10% eating bathroom video games. My parents get and control my money.
I just cant believe where I was b4 sz and where I am now! I have seen no one in my life get that bad not even on this forum.

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2

I cant even watch most movies/tv shows bcz now they trigger me. The same ones didnt trigger me b4 sz.

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3

If I were you , I’d quit thinking about your glorious past and take baby steps in a new beginning. Doing one small thing to begin.

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4

I cant, I am disabled mentally.

5

What would happen if you just thought “I can.” Surely your mind is not so controlled that you can’t do that. Just think “I can” without doing or planning anything.

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6

I would keep thinking about without doing anything and staying in bed. It should come naturally like normal ppl but it doesnt for me.

7

No. Normal people have to exert effort every day. It isn’t “natural”. Nobody ever developed a skill without effort and without the thinking “I can.”

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8

It was natural for me before my sz. Why did it have to change?

9

Are you saying that I am lazy and that I have no negative symptoms? I told you that I was going to get in medschool so I am definitively not lazy.

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10

Something happened that you “couldn’t” and you made that one instance rule your entire life. After that, everything was “I cant.”

11

@gene I saw you typing so if you have something to say, say it.

12

Its not psychological. Its medical.

13

Accept.I didn’t accept my symptoms of schizophrenia which is asocial.Now I still couldn’t accept because Socializing is one basic human needs,and if you don’t social your as good as animal

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14

I passed Christmas and New Year in my bed.

15

I’d like to help, but realize there’s not much I can say to get you up and at em. Like chordy says everyone has something to get them out of bed in the day. For me, I get my needed sleep and I begin my day. Could be work, could be doing exercise, could be to fix a meal. Start small and build up. Saying you can’t or your a child mentally, that’s something you need to address as a grown adult.

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16

I was a bit better on Abilify, going to the gym and hanging out with friends but wasnt able to manage money or work. I cant take Abilify/Rexulti anymore.

17

You need changes,change your meds or adjust your dosage at least

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18

I was better on Abilify, less negative symptoms, but cant take it anymore.

19

Perhaps a head injury. I think you are trying to escape guilt with your insistence that it is not anything you can help. And you don’t want to get well. For some reason, you are getting your kicks out of your bed routine.

20

Just because something lists the same possible side effects doesn’t mean you will get them. You have to try something or die in bed.

I did and am 75% better than on Invega.