@PinCushion that’s pretty mean. If you haven’t experienced the same side effects as he has, it’s easy to judge.
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The Dr didnt want to prescribe Rexulti at first saying its the same as Abilify but I convinced him but then read the addictions and hypersexuality side effects on the FDA website, same as Abilify.
But that doesn’t mean you will absolutely get them.
I guess I just have to sleep.
ok @Aziz I’m sorry. You asked “Why” and I meant to give you an answer from what I knew. I did not mean to be mean. Only I thought you could get through to yourself and I guess you can’t.
Can you change doctors?
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I feel like I almost have dementia.
I will try to if he doesnt prescribe Geodon. He doesnt want to change my meds at all. He said that many times.
Mine was severe. My first year I was in a group home but I was unmedicated. Next was 8 month’s in the hospital at age 21.
People often say do not compare suffering. I’ll just say that my case was bad and I paid my dues.
In a way, I didn’t lose much when I got sick. The few years before I got really sick I was working a string of unskilled, entry level jobs and partying. I had a car and had a lot of fun but I was on the outskirts of society anyways, riding around in my friends '66 low rider Impala, stealing and drinking.
I don’t forget where I came from though, I remember my years of psychosis, I remember that first group home and sleeping in a tiny room on an old mattress thrown on the floor for a year. I remember having nothing and doing nothing.
I remember being really sick. It just makes my life now seem sweeter compared to when I was 19 and 20.
My life now compared to the eighties is like night and day. Back in the beginning my whole focus was on my disease; now I not only focus on bad things, but good things as well.
All my suffering in my twenties just makes me appreciate what I have now and how far I’ve come.
Both my parents died years ago but I still have my life though I took my mom’s death particularly hard.
IDK. Life ain’t easy and downright sucks much of the time—but that’s life. My disease doesn’t run my life like it used to. Or at least not as much. Now I just have people problems and getting along with people who seem focused on making me unhappy. But I get out most days, I have my clean little room, I have wheels and a little money. I’m not doing bad for myself.
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Were you on drugs when psychotic? I think drugs worsen schizophrenia. I would be worse if I did drugs.
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I had been schizophrenic for 7 years when I got addicted to crack.
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I tried weed 3-4 times before my sz. Sometimes I think I would be better or I would have had sz at a later age if I never tried weed. The first voices and violent behavior started with the first time I tried weed.
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Yeah, weed always messed me up more than crack ever did.
I don’t encourage or condone smoking crack but weed was always the worst for me.
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I’m not sure if I really can have schizophrenia, logically. I mean was it given to me? I think so. Is it pseudo/borderline schizophrenia? Maybe. Do I just have bipolar type 2 and mild Aspergers? I don’t know. I would have Aspergers like Bill Gates or something where it gave me advantages minus the loneliness and bullying. I had gifts that came with it.
So far, I think I am a clone with a mind uploaded to a computer. It doesn’t matter where it happened. Maybe Dulce. I fought off the mimics/aliens, but I ended up with eye problems.
It’s like soul transfer/soul harvesting/fake immortality.
I don’t know. I’ll probably piss people off, but it doesn’t even matter who targeted me or why. All I know is I have to deal with the cards that were given to me (my hand that I was dealt). I can either move forward towards recovery or ■■■■■ and moan and just do nothng in life and cry in my sleep/head and wait for the next life to be better…
I am at a point in my life towards recovery that I think it’s possible. The vision problems were way, way worse than the schizophrenia.
I was an underachiever until I went to community college for 3 years. After that life became schizophrenic. Before that, I was lonely and miserable. I had a nice 3 years of high functioning and joy.
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I remember breaking the glass of the home door with my fist and kicking/shattering the fireplace glass. I think I also punched a mirror.
My father didnt yet repair the holes in the wall where I punched it with my head and fist.
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I don’t know how to even recover from this illness. Do I just do ‘therapy’ and take meds or just wait it out and hope time fixes things.
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All three I think.
I feel ya… schizophrenia and it’s symptoms have taken so much from me and I’ve lost all my documentation for US, birth certificate and all things paperwork’s whilst psychosis…prison time and hospitalization messed me up a bit.
Even if I made it back to my home country, Im going to have many debts and my credit score would SUCK because I’ve ran away from my apartment and never paid the rest of my contracted lease… but one day I want to return to my country and maybe go back to school to be eligible to work other than food industry.
Now I work in a kitchen in a nursing home for elders, and frankly I hate that place doing the same ■■■■ everyday and the pay sucks… but I keep going… because I want to be happy again.
Keep trying Aziz, don’t give up yet. You sound very smart… you can do it. Keep trying
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straight up this illness can knock you on your ass. I got knocked down several times. I even sold off my small business as I wasnt coping anymore, and thought maybe a career change would be good.
Just spent the last 3 years trying to improve my mental health with some progress. Couldnt get through much schooling it was too much for me I got too stressed and was getting psychotic symptoms.
Now Im going to go work for someone and make waaaaaaaaaay less money.
For me thats a tough blow. but I accept it, I need to work my way back into the work world.
I could just pack it in though and say forget it.
My dad has told me several times hes amazed that I never gave up and is very proud of me. He was sure I was just gonna end up on disability eventually and just be done with it.
I think you have a med thats making your life really tough with the lack motivation. but also your probably going through a bit of a life crisis of ‘will I ever be what I was before?’ and that might be self sabotoging any efforts you might have to try.
and the answer is you probably wont return to normal. but it doesnt mean you still cant live a good life.
I just hope you dont stay in bed for the next 20 years and regret doing that.
Rooting for you dude.
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