How do I get past my dad's disappointment in me?

I apologize if this gets too long; I know I can be long-winded, when I’m at a computer or texting, anyway. In person I actually say little more than I need to.

My dad passed away in 2013, but I still can’t shake the way he would get down on me about my failures in life. My mom was always very proud of me (she passed away in 2006), but somehow that gets overshadowed. I’m trying to learn just to be proud of what I’ve accomplished. I know I’m doing well, especially for an sza. I may not have a full-time job and a true career, like my dad expected me to have, but I have two part-time jobs and my own apartment, even if it is a crappy ghetto apartment. I may not be the best employee, frequently calling off for psych reasons, but my supervisors at both jobs are aware of my illness and have been very understanding, even if my coworkers get irritated by my frequent call-offs (they don’t know). I consider myself very high-functioning, but I feel like I was always a failure in my dad’s eyes, even though he never really had a career himself. He looked down on me a bit for taking the meds I take, too, but I’m pretty much past that. I hope this doesn’t come off as throwing myself a pity party; that’s really not what I’m going for here, especially with knowing that many of you have things much worse than I do. I’m hesitating about clicking on “Create Topic,” only because I don’t want any of this to be taken the wrong way, don’t want to come off as some kind of ass.

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Time heals all wounds. I’m sure that feeling will pass. It sounds like you’re ahead of the game if you’re working with a place of your own while having schizophrenia.

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It’s easy for people to pass judgement when they don’t have to deal with all the stuff that you’ve had to. Try to forgive him and move on. He only wanted the best for you but was unable to comprehend the struggles you had to deal with on a daily basis.

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My dad (he passed away in 1989) seemed to not have the ability to show love and affection towards me. Instead, he was very critical of anything I did that wasn’t “perfect,” which made me feel like a failure. Over time I came to realize that my day wasn’t perfect, but a man fighting his own battles. Thus I began to see my dad as an empathetic figure instead of a man I needed to please.

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