How do i feel on zyprexa

it smashes my brain. and I am not sure but I really find that It puts some thoughts in my mind… I lowered my dosage and I feel more sensible already. but I have fear from everything already.
I see my pdoc this Thursday but I should be a real mess… never heard of anything that an ap puts you more thoughts in your head. but maybe it happens if it kills my emotions…
I guess my pdoc will want me to put me on serdolect. and ill be on two aps…somebody here who is on two aps? but yeah, this Zyprexa smashes our brains I find… maybe its worse for the cognition too…
its scary to be like me… I thought that ill become crazy outside when I saw my generalist…
I try so hard to be a good person but its not my problem I guess. there are a lot of people outside who are bad and feel well besides that…whatever…on Zyprexa I smile but I dont feel it in my soul, no…

I cant stop thinking negatively people… I am desperate… I guess ill try the new med that my pdoc wants me to try-serdolect. otherwise, ive tried all other aps…
I feel my brain in my head. I have some energy who crosses my body when I am around people which makes me shaky and weak… I feel anger and jealousy and I dont have a clue what is to be in normal state. and its like this since an eternity… I live like an ermite… honestly,its not a life, its hell…
and what if serdolect dont work either? how ill continue living like this? my ex pdoc stopped believing in me too… like my mother… that’s all

Is Serdolect an antidepressant? Maybe you would benefit from an anti depressant since you seem unhappy.

I’m on 2 APs and 2 Antidepressants and my life is much better now.

I hope you will feel better soon!

its an ap @pamito. I think that my depression is more the negative symptoms of sz… I just sit here and I am angry with low mood etc etc… I also think non stop without a pause that I am not like other people… the ads in the past increased my fears and my paranoia :/…
Idk anymore what to do. ill talk with my doc, I know but ive just tried so many meds for the last 8 years and nothing helped… maybe, I am condemned to live and die alone here at my house…