I’m just curious. I was always far ahead of my classmates in everything throughout all of elementary school and most of middle school. I was often very frustrated because I felt like I was held back by my peers, so I never liked group or partner work. Teachers loved me and always said my future was very bright. I was straight A’s and had a 9th grade reading level by the 3rd grade, and started reading when I was 3. I won many academic awards and was on straight A honor roll. When I was in the first grade I entered a writing contest and was disqualified because the judges were convinced my mom had written the paper. I was going places, or so I was told.
Then towards the end of middle school my depression went full blown and my academic performance started slipping…I gained significant problems with attention due to this and my delusions…I began to fall behind in classes…everyone would be confused because they knew I was intelligent but got these totally average or subpar grades.
I’m still in that place today. If I wasn’t so tired and didn’t find paying attention so incredibly difficult (it only got worse after my anxiety became uncontrollable) I think I could go back to being that straight A student. I just don’t have the energy for it anymore. It makes me so angry sometimes, like I’m not living up to my potential.
My grades don’t reflect my effort or intellect. I hate the grading system.