I used to be aware of my own mind ever since I can remember. But since I was first hospitalized and put on meds that’s not the case.
It still feels unnatural even 10 years on.
It’s like an absence of thought. But I obviously can still think.
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I’m thinking more clearly. I can tell. I’m told I’m still delusional but I know I’m clearer than before meds.
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Pretty good today. Not manic or depressed. I was productive today too, cleaned the house up some and grocery shopped. The med that helps me is my AD citalipram. APs don’t help me.
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It swings from time to time. Boringly sane but easy to rest and read a book. Ør at the other end crazily fun but too much thought broadcasting. I take my meds as prescribed, but still get psycotic episodes.
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I’ve less issues with racing thoughts. Still get a little paranoid but sometimes it’s like…ahh this is how so called normal people think. I too have improved a lot on meds.
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I have a flat and indifferent mind. My mind is neutral. Meds definitely to blame.
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It just feels really unnatural to me, even after all these years. But maybe this is what it’s like for normies.
It has become clearer in the sense that I now actually pay attention more. Maybe that’s just a growing up thing.
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maybe u can talk with pdoc about adjusting the meds
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