How can I escape my past?

I have never experienced any really traumatic things in my life but there have been lots and LOTS of bad small things (which I’m sure is normal).

I can’t stop thinking about my past… in fact, it’s not even like I’m thinking about it- I am watching it and reliving it in flashbacks.
I never really allowed myself to experience things in the past few years because my mind was so consumed with getting good grades, losing weight and worrying about what other people think about me.
These were my distractions…now, I have no distractions. I don’t enjoy anything because of the horrible voices talking to me.
But why do I keep having flashbacks? How can I make them stop or at least not be effected by them so much?

It’s like ‘they’ (idk who they are) are scanning my brain for memories and then are like “heyyy, let’s play THIS muahahaha”…

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I also have those flashes for memories. I just remember things in pictures instead of films. It can be disturbing when they come up rapid fire, it’s like hey look at these. But I do also have abuse ones thrown into the mix so it is scary. I don’t know why that’s happening to you, maybe you’re brain is misfiring or maybe trying to tell you something. Is there a theme to your flashbacks at all?

You are strong, remember that. I have complex PTSD which is a fancy way of saying I have multiple traumas. When the flash backs start try grounding exercises. What color is the room you’re in? What are you sitting on? How does it feel? What helped the most for me was talking to a tdoc I trusted.

The demon I see will actually climb in bed and rape me and I can feel it. It’s very similar to an experience I had.

Hang in there! Time heals all! :sunny:

lol… similar effect and i can totally relate. but you are half way there to realize that and willing to come out of it. i am like happily digging deep into past. by the time the present kicks in i feel like i am already screwed. thinking of alternate universe all the time. maze of torment. seeking something spectacular to happen. however wishing u feel better soon.

One day at a time. Live in the day you’re in. Enjoy the day you’re in.