I pay for treatment from my counselor. I respect and value what he has to say. From what I remember, I have always heeded his counsel. Except this weekend. He told me to go to the hospital. But I didn’t go. I’m supposed to have an appointment tomorrow. I want to give him his Christmas present. I think I will drop it off and leave without staying for the appointment. I don’t want him to call an ambulance for me,
Why did he tell you to go to the hospital? If you trust him and have trusted him for this long, why not trust his judgement and go? He is a professional.
I know, right? He’s counseled me for nearly four years, at once or twice each week. He’s endured my phone calls and emails.
I felt like I would only be going to please him. I don’t think a hospital stay would be helpful right now. I have two young kids and it is Christmas time.
He wants me to go because I was telling everyone (I told a lot of people) to prepare for my suicide. I told them it was inevitable and just to be ready for it.
I’m sorry, but it sounds like you should go. I wasn’t telling everyone to prepare for my suicide, but I couldn’t stop thinking about HOW. Once I realized how frequent these thoughts had become, I got in touch with my pdoc, explained the situation, and asked for new meds. She responded within two hours. I have not been alone since Thursday and my hubby is staying home from work with me for the next couple of days so the meds have time to get in there and do their job. If I didn’t have this kind of support I would go right to a hospital… which is what you may need to do. Please be safe. Please.
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It sounds like you need to be in a hospital because you’re a danger to yourself.
@Happy_H
I’m in a similar place as you though. My psychiatrist raised my Latuda and Lithium. He didn’t send me to the hospital. We just made the plan that I wouldn’t be alone. My husband is spending time with me. My parents are spending time with me. Even an older couple from Church is having me over! I think I made the right decision not to go to the hospital. I just don’t know what to do about my counseling appointment tomorrow.
I see. I am glad to hear you are getting help from your pdoc and your family (and church, too!). If I were in your shoes, I would just explain clearly why I didn’t go and what my plan of support was to get through this difficult time. See what he has to say after that. Don’t just avoid him, though; that will only make things worse.
I hope you feel better soon. We all have to stick together!
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@Happy_H
Good point that it will only get worse if I avoid him! I will go to my appointment. Thanks!
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@LilyoftheValley
I don’t plan to do it now, I just know where my head gets. I just expect it to happen, and I wanted everyone to be ready.
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Let us know how it goes. I wish you all the best; I know how tough it can be to face something like this.
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@Happy_H
Your support is incredibly helpful and easing my anxiety tonight. I thought nothing could calm me, but I feel much better. Thank you!
I hope for the best for you! I hope you can persevere through the med change! And I’m grateful you are at the place financially that your husband can stay home from
work! That is a unique and precious gift!
But if you want them to be ready, there’s a pretty significant suicidal ideology going on. I think you’re a danger to yourself.
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