Schizophrenia.com

Homophobic still

Okay, I’m celibate, don’t want to do that, girls wouldn’t like me, and don’t want to be gay. Nobody cares Jinx! Get over it! This is tragic, I would have been God himself. Why abuse yourself if it’s not your fault? I’m lonely. I’m divided. I don’t exist. I hate me. This state of mind is almost unbearable.

I am having trouble understanding. It sounds like you are feeling very conflicted over the idea of physical intimacy?

I felt the same way a while back. Now I’m 62, and I don’t worry about it so much. I’ve lost that desperate feeling that life is passing me by.

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I’ve got a dark secret. I want to use my light saber to kill my deity. He just won’t stop abusing me. I don’t know why I want to destroy every trace of myself, it must be homosexuality.

I’ve been writing about this skit for forever, words haven’t solved it, I don’t know why this other me needs to abuse me, it must be a conflict of sexual identity. I’m almost entirely gone and he wants that stamped out! Doesn’t anyone understand just how real these voices are???

Sz and associated disorders are those of perception. It attacks the very basis of your thoughts and it attacks the very core of your identity. Like I’m a straight male but when psychotic I had this overwhelming urge to kiss one of my male managers at work. It all was a little strange but meds helped me move forward with my life enough to have decent relationships with others which had previously escaped me…

If I get you right I don’t think it’s anything unusual. Questions of sexuality seem very common to me from reading other peoples testimony so get the meds right and things will sort themselves out. Nothing wrong with being gay if your gay. Straight if your straight. Sz will often confuse even the basic things.

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