Ever since my psychotic break I have felt as if there were pieces missing to my intermal monologue.
Kind of like while I am going about my day to day there is no internal commentary. When I speak I don’t have a wealth of words in my brain to choose from.
Yet, in an awkward sort of cliche ridden way I am able to speak. But you see my speech is filled with repetition and stock phrases. Kind of like there is very little going on in my brain and I am trying to compensate for it.
I speak gradually, the words don’t flow freely as they did before I had schizophrenia.
It helps for me to be talking about one of my limited interests, unfortunately that always reminds me of how complete and able to speak at length about any subject I once was.
Does anyone else struggle with discontinuities or holes in their thought process. Am I simply imagining that my mind feels empty since I’m still able to speak to some extent? Am I suffering from poverty of thought or speech?
It’s an interesting question. That inner monologue wasn’t something I think was good for me…Instead of voices I had that commenting on how I did things so it fuelled the same problems.
For me. On medication I’m slower but happier. I don’t miss those obsessive thoughts. I don’t miss that endless fear and commentary on everything I do. Living more in the moment isn’t such a bad thing…I still think enough etc.
It is different! Is that the medications or the disorder…always an interesting point!
Yeah my inner monologue became very critical. Noe I can’t even think in that way or I’m so balls to the walls with tension thst I forgot how. I subvocalize everything if I’m thinking in words. But I came to the conclusion earlier that I started struggling with all this when I stopped doing drugs. I was so used to having that to back me up and I was in it. Without them i feel hollow at times so alot of my subconscious is trying to bend my brain to get the buzz it’s missing. Truly sad but I’m not going back to getting high. Someine give me a beer
@rogueone, I don’t feel like I have slowed down, I feel more like there is nothing going on at all most moments. For me it isn’t a comforting feeling at all.
@Anon10 sounds like negatives…I had poverty of thought after psychosis…it’s like you need to talk but the words just don’t come? Limited by my own experience…for me it’s not a bad thing!