I keep thinking about my delusions and if my delusions are true then I’m not a piece of crap. If my delusions aren’t true then I’m trash. A couple things that I’ve heard though that make me think my delusions are real. A person who knows what’s going on said my life would be like the movie Apocalypto. At the end of the movie they see the Europeans in boats. It’s something the natives didn’t factor into anything for their entire life and the glimpse at the boat changed everything. I relate my voices to the Europeans. Just something new to factor in to everything.
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I don’t know either way for me would be scary. if they were true it’s scary and if they are not me getting so delusional is scary. Do you think we pick our delusions? I think I have several. Big and smaller ones. like i’m on a scary ride I can’t get off of.
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Really I only have one delusion. It explains everything though.
Is it something you want to keep to yourself?
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It’s kind of a government conspiracy so I’m reluctant to go into it.
oh supposedly that is 1 of the three most common
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one of mine is i’ve been hacked and everything i’ve been reading isn’t real and whoever hacked me does not like me at all.
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one is a nicer delusion that this is an intervention
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My delusions all revolve around government conspiracies and I hold steadfastly on to them despite what my doctors have told me. While I can’t prove that the government gave me schizophrenia I do know for a fact they intentionally made it worse. I could give many examples.
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i’ve even had one that several year ago i sat in my car with the engine running and i’m not really in the same reality anymore.
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and it didn’t help me watching ancient aliens guess you can imagine that one
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Yeah I stick to sports mostly.
i’ve read and watched surreal things and now i’m just delusion after delusion
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They seem to have lost interest in me now and I don’t get the same level of attention I once got. In any event you are not trash.
Many of us have been delusional and I now recognize some of the things I used to be delusional about as just delusions. They can be very powerful and sometimes we just can’t see past them because we are just too sick in the head. It doesn’t make you any less valuable as a person though
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I’ve got some things that I believe that are unusual beliefs.
But the kicker is if I told you them you’d point out they were just delusions. Sometimes it’s impossible to see your own delusions as delusions but so simple to see others delusions for what they are.
With that in mind what can I say?
Ignore the voices they’re not real just a manifestation of a powerful malfunctioning brain.
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but it seems so much synchroncity or serendipity but i can’t understand who or what it is. It’s like nervous breakdown after nervous breakdown. I don’t even look the same.
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sometimes it will turn into pronoia vs paranoia but those are short breaks.
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