Personally I would leave it alone. If he had feeling for you that’s one thing but you never got physical, so I don’t see that as cheating. Do you want to mess up his life just because you can?
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Be aware, if he was an honest man, he would not use the cellphone of company to call you, and about predicting future, no one can do it,
Be aware,
Be aware,
Be aware,
HE messed up his life. Not her.
HE choose to mislead her and his wife and risk his kids wellbeing and his job by purposefully seducing her for MONTHS and painting a picture of a future together. In my eyes that is cheating and much more so than f.e. one drunken french kiss or touch.
And she doesnt want to “mess up his life just because she can”. She wants to protect others. Both his family and the other people he works with.
That makes it a tough choice.
I can see why letting it go could be better too. But HE created the problem.
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Did she ask if he was married or had kids in all that time? Love takes many forms, this one seems quite platonic … but I don’t know the whole story
I never buy this argument. How does telling his wife or job that he was flirting with her protect anyone
No, but it wasnt on her to ask, it was on him to tell. If someone seduces you and tells you he wants to be with you, you assume they are not married. You cant go around asking people if they are cheaters.
If you giving someone the expectation of a future of love for months, while you are married, you are misleading them, playing with their heart, hurting them.
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The guy works with people who are mentally challenged and mentally ill and uses this job to seduce them. Can you really not see how that crosses a line?
Maybe it is a cultural difference, but my company has really strict rules that colleagues cant seduce clients in any way. You are immediately fired if you do.
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I’m not inside his head and I don’t know what he really intended to do, but telling some you care about them is usually a good thing. Are you saying he was doing this maliciously?
He didnt say he cared about her. He said he loved her and wanted a future together, daily, over months. And purposefully leaving out the fact that he was married. Im not in his mind, but yes, i think that is bad. Not a good thing at all.
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I agree that is bad
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Sorry for being argumentative about this, but i just really want it to be clear for her, that it is in no way at all her fault. Whatever she decides to do, with good intentions. I think it wasnt her fault that this happened.
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Just cause someone is married doesn’t mean they want to stay in that relationship. He may have been truthful. I’d have to understand better why he didn’t say so sooner and how he told her. Maybe he felt it was time to be honest so they could move forward.
Idk. Id resist the knee jerk reaction for revenge if that’s how she feels
I dont think any of us talked about taking revenge, that is not the point…as I understood it, she wants to protect his other customers. If it is from revenge, surely letting it go would be better.
Also, in my view you first end your marriage decently before looking for a new. I also assumed, maybe i was wrong, he didnt tell, because she said she “found out”.
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I would leave it alone but tell him to stop. it is not professional for someone to approach like that.
Protecting is another way of saying to get him fired.
If she wants to put him in the house of pain then that’s up to her. But there should be no pretense that she is doing this for anyone but herself. She is going to get him fired and she is going to mess up his family life possibly. I’m not here to determine if he deserves it. Just call it what it is, and then decide
Partly, I think you are being unfair.
SHE is not putting him “in a house of pain”. HE purposefully risked his job, his family, his wellbeing and that of several other people he claimed to love. I also genuinely don’t believe she is acting from revenge, for herself. It is just worrying if someone who works with “vulnerable” people goes around misleading and seducing them. I too would consider reporting it, if I suspected he might do this to others as well. You can’t be in her head judging her intentions!
Partly, I think you are right that the consequences might be too harsh.
I talk from a situation (my country) with a great welfare system, were you often get billions of new chances, there are government subsidies ready for you if you are fired and you can easily get a new job. Yes, it might be hard.
But I have to get to work and also I think we worked out both sides of her dilemma quite enough… it is for her to decide. I do believe her that she has the best intentions though…
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I’m just saying that actions have consequences and to be aware of what they are. Without a doubt he put himself in this situation by his actions. But will the punishment fit the crime. That’s up to her
I asked him if he is married. He said divorced for more than 7 years. He said he had a daughter, 31, who committed suicide. He said he wants true love, he’s ready for it. His daughters are at oldest 6 or 7 and younger. His Facebook page clearly states his name, his wife’s name, and has recent photos.
I am upset. He called and texted me over months. He tried to make me look bad. He said no one would believe me.
I’m not in a big hurry to do anything. I’m just trying to figure out how I would want to be treated if I was the one cheating. He did ask me to have sex. I said no.
Thanks for your input. I’m going to try and make a decision. I’m in no hurry.
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Sounds like a lying scum bag. Sorry you had to go thru this. I’d say do what you think is best. If you want to make a big deal out of it I would support you. People like that need something to get their attention