I’m reading double/ triple meanings into everything…license plates…billboards…newspapers…internet…specifically music…pretty much everything.
I don’t think my head can take yet another ride like this. I’m exhausted.
I’m seeing my psychiatrist in 2 days if I can hang on.
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When I become psychotic I don’t eat, shave, shower, sleep…etc. I look and feel like I’m 100years old.
It’s like I’m doing the London Cryptic Crossword puzzle 24/7 and can’t get any answers…it’s exhausting.
If I didn’t have a young family, I’d consider offing myself to make it all stop.
Do you have a prn. If so, now is the time to use it. Try to take your mind off of it. Get yourself busy with something.
Have holy basil tea it will calm your mind.
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Get some benzos
If you are feeling suicidal, please tell someone — a friend or family member, a teacher, a doctor or therapist or call 911 (if you’re in the U.S.) or the Emergency Medical Services phone number in your country.
You can also call a suicide prevention hotline—these are available in the U.S. and in many other countries.
International suicide hotlines:
Suicide hotlines in the U.S.:
https://www.thetrevorproject.org
More resources:
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You’ve been through this before. You can go through it again. Be happy you are going to see your pdoc and they should sort things out. Until then try to keep stress low and don’t be afraid to be a little more dependent until you feel better.
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