Here I go again!

It’s so strange how my meds have seemed to stop working. Increase in haloperidol and I’m calmer but here I go again - I’m Alien’s scapegoat and sacrifice. He wants to insert thoughts in my head to harm hubby so what I do is harm myself slightly and it eases the sorrow and guilt. I feel like I’m making some good effort protecting hubby like that and it makes me feel good.

Same stuff I was hospitalised for in October and the AP’s made it go away and now despite not stopping or lowering them Alien is back and I’m a scapegoat again.

That plus the depression returning and now I’m a head case it seems. I hope I can stay out of hospital this time! I see my pdoc again on 16th march but I don’t know if I am ill enough to have to need to see him sooner.

Plus he doesn’t seem to take my situation seriously. When I said I was suicidal a bit the day before, he just increased my meds. The AD will take some time to work. I don’t know why it stopped working in the first place.


I hope you find some peace soon. You’ve been through a lot.


I’m not quite sure what to say @Hadeda . It seems like not much makes a dent in your issues. I hope your recent med increase helps. Good luck. We are pulling for you to make progress.


Oh I wish you all the peace of mind in the world @Hadeda!


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