Hello. I hope this is the correct and apporpiate place to talk about this. I need help and need someone/anyone to reach out to. If this is not the right place for this discussion I apologize just know I need someone I reach out to. I cannot handle dealing with this on my own anymore.
I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I remember always thinking his mom acted a bit strange. Until recently after many breakdowns and delusional hurtful intense accusations she was diagnosed as skitosphernic. She is now on medication and at times seems completely normal however there are occasional breakdowns. She still drinks achohol heavily and smokes weed as well as occasional cocaine. She is very posseive over her son and controlling about trying to spend time with him. She has told him that she is âjealous of meâ because of how close he is to me. She continues to put me in awkward positions that feel like a completion for her sons attention, she also loves to come to my home and take charge, cooking, telling me where to put things etc. i know that skizophrenia is a mental disorder and I am trying to acknowledge however the drinking/who knows what else worries me. How do I deal with this and accept the fact that I will never be close to her or have a normal relationship with her
Iâm schizophrenic but nevertheless I will say this. Nasty, controlling people with schizophrenia can not blame everything on schizophrenia. Having schizophrenia does not give us a free pass to cause trouble or bother people. My advice for you is to keep your side of the street clean (if you know what I mean) while you figure this problem out. Donât give her any ammunition to use against you.Donât give her any excuse to blame the problems on you.
Iâm sympathetic towards her, but thereâs such things as right and wrong. And such things as boundaryâs, rules, lines and space. When I was in a group home from 1990-95 the guy who ran it gave me some advice that I still try to follow, âNever use your illness as an excuse.â I understood exactly what he meant.
A possessive mother who misuses alcohol and illegal substances is what your problem is not her schizophrenia. A person with this mental illness does not behave as you have described nor does it give a person a licence to cause offence.
Ask yourself this: Are you in love with him or his demanding mother? If it is the former then give him an ultimatum. Say you want a fresh start by moving to another state or neighbourhood, away from his mother. Listen carefully to his answer. Then youâll find out whether he loves you or his mother more.
@Zeepaka Iâd like to encourage you to join our forum for Family and Caregivers that can be found at:
While this is a peer support forum for people with schizophrenia and other closely related psychotic disorders, the Family forum is specifically for people like yourself, who have a loved one they are concerned about.
Also, please let your loved one know about this forum as they may find it helpful.