Hello. I don’t know if I am still accepted here, previously my nickname was BringMeCoffee.
I was off meds for 7 months… and, sadly, I’ve gotten a bit worse. Not terribly worse, but I started realising I was getting delusional and paranoid - then I contacted my Pdoc, and she explained I am getting close to psychosis, and that I should get back to medication again. Thanks for my insight, and that I contacted her and asked for advice/help. Maybe few more months and… I would be in a hospital.
I know, I really know I was a bit different off meds. Sorry for that. The reason I am here, is… Yeah, hell, I am probably a person with schizophrenia for LIFE.
I didn’t wanted to upset or hurt anyone here back then, and if I did, big apologies.
Overall life is quite OK. I took academic holidays from my studies ( a year lenght pause)- but not because I felt very ill, rather my delusional thinking made me think I don’t need studying at all. Maybe the pause is a good thing, I need to get back on my feet again, and reach full stability again.
Biggest apologies for mods.
I know I wasn’t very pleasant at the end.
Welcome back @anon92236671 … im glad you got back on meds before it got to the point of hospital for you… i also sometimes wish I didn’t have to take them,. but I feel they saved my life !
@Ish its very hard to accept (sometimes) that I need meds.
I feel totally OK most of the time, and then I start thinking - so, if I am Ok, why do I need them?
But without them I have delusions. Also this constant overanalysis of other people motives… Like, yeah meds are crucial.
im the same… with the overanalysis… I went 10 years without symptoms before asking to come off meds, it didn’t work for me,. I landed in hospital.. now I know not to do that again,
Oh… Sorry to hear that. Good thing is meds are helping us. We can stay stable and have beautiful lives, yeah?
But. Now I fear… Idk why I started to think meds lower life span. Overal probably because of the nature of this illness I willl live shorter.
But somehow I have this thing in my mind: better shorter but better, than longer and in a hospitals.
Sorry If I sound negative.
Idk I remember when before first psychosis I was getting paranoid and felt that something is getting strange. Now it was happening again (felt that my intuition is like witch’s, felt like a genius, I was thinking my loved one is obsessing over me and filming me with hidden cameras)- so I contacted my pdoc. She gently explained its not good at all what I experience, and asked to get back to meds..
I also was started to think my loved one controls me with his movements..
F u c this illness. I thought I wont need meds ever again.
I am glad my insight stays well untill full blown psychosis. Its a good thing
Hey @anon92236671! I know that you have thought before that you don’t have schizophrenia. It sounded like you might not have that diagnosis. Of course you can have psychosis and not have schizophrenia. So, I was wondering, is it hard for you to accept that you need medication because you don’t have a proper diagnosis?
I am 55 years old and been on antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, anti anxiety meds, and antidepressants since I was 17. Actually in the beginning I was only on melleril on a low dose and was fine.( It is no longer used because it was linked to heart disease.) I am now on a low dose of one antipsychotic and antidepressant. I feel if it weren’t for my inability to sleep without meds I’d be able to quit the ap. I could be wrong but I know my turbulent feelings have passed.
I tried doing the keto diet off of meds and I wasn’t stable enough so my new pdoc just put me back on an ap recently and I can definitely tell the difference. My psychotic symptoms are much less now than without a med.
@HollyHobbie
Hello… I just want to explain that I am in total confusion whether I need meds or no. It’s like non stop overthinking whether I actually need them.. sometimes it’s so hard to understand whether it’s delusions what I experience or just a normal suspicion.. but meds makes me almost 0 suspicious, maybe that’s the answer
And thanks. @Matthias thanks!!! @Rainstorm hey!! @GrayBear hehe @WhiteRaven
@ThePickinSkunk hello, okay!! And thanks for caring @Jinx I am only on vraylar 3 mg now and sometimes I take 5-10 mg of ablify… I am in a constant confusion whether meds are crucial.
But. Time will show.. like I said for me several experiences seem quite delusional - I thought my bf can control me and my feelings only by his body movements, like even my life decisions without opening his mouth: but now it feels I rather obsessed and was becoming paranoid: I even thoughts cameras in his room are everywhere, even though we’re living together and logically why tf he would film me? He knows me for almost 4 years… @Vinegar meds make me realise I may not always “know everything”… Without them my intuition, everything seems like 100% truth most of the time..
Oh thanks to both of you… I missed people here, @Wave@anon54334749
hey!!
