My son was always very close to me, he is 22 years old and was diagnosed with Scyzofrenia 2 years ago. He was in a very good condition for more than a year, studding working friends… After he got on madications and treatment.
2 months ago he stopped talking to me, he wrote me that I destroyed his life and to get out of his life for ever, he left our and his home without taking anything and living at a freind home, (she, has also scyzofrenia, but she is stable now, on madication).
He does not want any connection with the family and even do not say I am his mom.
We are a very support, care and love family, I can not give up on him and I tried everything to connect with him.
What can I do?
If he will get back to medication and treatment it can be change?
Has some one experienced similar situation?
I am so sad.
Thank you.
Perhaps you should make a account and post this on the family forum: http://family.schizophrenia.com
@dafnitusa I’d like to encourage you to join our forum for Family and Caregivers that can be found at:
While this forum is for people with schizophrenia and other closely related psychotic disorders, the Family forum is specifically for people like yourself, who have a loved one they are concerned about.
Also, please let your loved one know about this forum as they may find it helpful.
Best of luck,
Moonbeam
Volunteer moderator
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in 1980 when I was 19. At the beginning, I blamed my parents for all my problems. My family was loving, caring and supportive too. But when I was in my first group home I told them I didn’t want anything to do with them. I realized later they must have been hurt and confused. But they did not give up on me. They still called me to talk. They visited me on Christmas, then came to my grimy old group home and I came outside to see them. We sat on the porch and I didn’t talk so we sat there in silence. They gave me a few presents and I opened them and mumbled a “thank you”. We talked a very little bit and then they left. I know they must have been tore up inside to see me not only suffering with schizophrenia but to see me rejecting the only people who loved and cared for me. It took me about 3 or 4 months before I realized that they.
A) Did not cause my illness
B) They were on my side
C) they were not trying to hurt me, they were trying to do everything they could to help me.
Once we got that straightened out, our relationship got way better and we got along the majority of the time after that. Both my parents died, mom last year, my dad about 7 years ago. Over the years we had blow-ups, arguments, fights, disagreements just like any family. I got addicted to crack in my illness and but I later got clean but I know that both of them were very angry about that and it was sore point in our relationships. But despite that, I think our relationships was way better than most “normal” people we knew and tneir sons or daughters. And once we got those three points straightened out, my family supported me with unwavering loyalty for 33 years including my sisters.
The last thing I want to say is that: We are schizophrenics! The very nature of the disease is delusions and to put it in layman’s terms: our brains are tricking us. Our perspectives and perceptions are awry to the tenfold. We get weird thoughts and we believe them and run with them for days, or weeks or years. No one knows what your son is thinking or what weird thought got into his head. I can get one single thought and concentrate on it for half a year and act on it.
I finally ironed my problems out with my parents. It took a lot of work and time. It caused problems between my mom and dad sometimes. But like I said, tney never gave up on me and I am proud to say that I was able to return the favor once I got a little stable and better. After a few years of schizophrenia I was able to do yard work for all my family. I house sat a dozen times or more when they traveled out of the country and or across the country. I watched and fed tneir dogs while they were gone and watered their plants, and got the mail. I drove both my sisters and my dad to the airport numerous times when they needed to catch a plane and then I picked them back up when they got back. After 30 years with schizophrenia my sister hired me help her in our own business she started. That involved renting a truck and unloading and loading furniture and driving all over our city. She thanked me profusely for that and I am a little proud of coming through for her.
Thank you so much for sharing your life story with me. Do you have any suggestions what to do. I will never give up but I do not know what to do more than I tried. I tried in many ways to get to him, very gently and with Love. He doesn’t want us in his life. I love him so much and I will do everything, please help.
Thank you.
Yes, medication might help. It’s the number one treatment for schizophrenia currently. It helps most people though the side-effects can be frustrating. Personally, I am so used to any side-effects that my medication has that I don’t even notice them.
My old medication made me tired and slow but on my new medication I have more energy even though I’m 55 years old. Maybe you have family therapy group where you are. I was in Family therapy in the eighties. My parents actually joined it months before I got called in. The way the family therapy worked was that there were two or three families involved at any given time. Two counselors who had degrees in family therapy led the group. It could be any combination of family members who attend.
For instance, sometimes it was just me, my dad, and my mom. Sometimes it was just my dad and my two sisters and me., sometime it was just my two sisters and me. Sometimes the other families had just a mother and son there. Like I said, my parents had been going months before I attended. All the families involved supported and tried to help each other along withe two family therapy counselors.
This might be an option for you to pick up ideas from other families. I don’t know of you have these groups in your area. But yeah, medication has the potential to change his life for the better.
Thank you so much, really thankful for your advice.