Has anyone ever seen anything like this?

Has anyone ever seen anything like this, and do you know what it is? I keep seeing them everywhere this last few days. They seem to be made of blue and white light, but they seen to be alive too. Any ideas what this could mean? Sorry for the crap drawing, but I really need to know what these are.

Looks like a cross. Maybe itā€™s a religious sign?

Itā€™s a hallucination go see your pdoc.

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It also looks like some sort of cactus or coral

I can see your point Snowtiger, but itā€™s more like something alive, a flower or animal of some sort but made of light. Iā€™m sure they are trying to tell me something, I just need to figure out what and wondered if anyone had seen anything similar. They are definitely alive. I understand it is a hallucination, but it must mean something, Ijust donā€™t know whatā€¦

It means your brain is producing too much dopamine and not enough glutamate.

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Can you explain? Sorry, I donā€™t understand?

The hallucinations are caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain. They donā€™t ever have a deeper meaning.

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Ah, ok, I understand what youā€™re saying. I guess itā€™s just my way of understanding what is happening to me, the way I see it is that it is ā€˜the illnessā€™ that causes me to feel bad, ie down, irritable, fearful, but I see the visions and voices and other experiences as something ethereal, like a connection to higher planes and other dimensions, I feel like there is some purpose or meaning I am suppose to figure out and the feeling is getting intense, I need to find the answers. But I suppose the logic is that thatā€™s all part of it (the illness) too, it just doesnā€™t feel like it is.

As a sza, my hardest loss in life was my personal spirituality or connection to the spirits in nature. It is gone. I removed it, tore the little flowers of higher purpose off myself because I could not accept that I did not really know how to interpret things. for example, my kitchen light flickers on and off. Ordinarily, Iā€™d run with the thought that itā€™s my dead boyfriend coming to tell me something of great urgency, but now I think ā€œitā€™s a wiring problem and I should get that looked at.ā€ I had to eliminate all the thoughts that caused me to fall into thoughts of delusions or persecution or grandiosity or anything.

Itā€™s painful, to strip away the Idea of a Higher Plane, but in my case I could not make progress if I kept getting stuck on what did x mean or y mean or whatever Iā€™d never be able to pay attention to the physical world.

My husband is very spiritual in terms of nature and animals. He believes animals can be spirit guides. I love this idea, but I cannot start thinking along those lines because it would cause me great psychological duress and Iā€™d start obsessing about secret animal guides around the neighborhoodā€¦ I miss believing in the higher plane of interconnectedness, like in Catā€™s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut, but for the sake of my level headedness, I donā€™t let my thoughts get that far down that road. :broken_heart:

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keep your head up. your crown is slipping. :slight_smile:

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BLUSHING!! thanks :smiley:
:blush:

:blush:

:blush:

:blush:

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Plankton a small small ameba . see one once a blue moon stuck in the eyes .

Your cryptic language perplexes me.

Something about tiny ameobas?

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An amoeba is a type of cell or organism which has the ability to alter its shape, primarily by extending and retracting pseudopods. Amoebae do not form a single taxonomic group, but are found in every major lineage of eukaryotic organisms.

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This resonates so much with me, so much that I teared up a little.

My co-person believes my dead cat is watching over our home and protecting it. We were in a holistic market over the weekend, and she made a comment about how we could never smudge our house, because my cat is always welcome. A few weeks ago, we heard meowing under our living room window, and she confessed that her first thought was that it was Puck.

There are definite weird things. My kitten, who is scared of everything and hates all other cats, always gravitates to places and things special to Puck. Itā€™s tempting to think that heā€™s comforting her and protecting her from beyond the grave, but the truth is, he was a confident, content cat, and probably some of that scent still lingers around things he loved best, and that soothes her.

I wish I could indulge these thoughts like a normal person can, but Iā€™ve learned the hard way that I canā€™t.

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I had to think about this before I could reply. Thank you HQuinn for your honest and open answer here. This makes me so sad. I can see why you had to let go, I really can. It must have been painfully hard to do that.

I donā€™t know if I can, or if I want to. I donā€™t like this world, I donā€™t like what happens in it. People seem to be good, mostly, but terrible things are happening everywhere and it pains me deeply. I feel like I should be in a different place and time. Iā€™ve had glimpses, more than glimpses, but itā€™s not enough, in a way I would prefer it if I could leave this plane, and be infinite, eternal in the ether, one with everything, above and beyond the pain of human life in this time and place. These signs mean so much to me. Part of me knows, understands, that I should turn away, but a bigger part of me wants to turn to them, to be absorbed into them. The thought of what you had to go through makes me sad, and the thought of whether I should our whether I could. Iā€™m getting upset, but itā€™s not you that has upset me, your reply really touched me, I just have some really big things to think about and itā€™s hard. I was hoping these light creatures would lead me somewhere, away from this reality.

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If it keeps your head above water, I understand. Just know that some of us have gone through that too, and weā€™ve put that to the side and found other equally wonderful things to like about the world, more concrete things. [quote=ā€œTurquoise, post:17, topic:74990ā€]
This makes me so sad.
[/quote]

At first, it made me sad, too. It still triggers painful memories, but Iā€™ve found meaning in life aside from the unknown.
I found my major in college and went on to graduate after my diagnosis. I focused myself and found meaning in my field, in my studies, in human rights advocacy, and things that I can find very deep and very concrete at the same time.

Anyways, donā€™t let go of hope for a beautiful-and concrete physical-world. A lot of us here like drawing because itā€™s the one thing we can do to bring that Other World into this one. I felt a connection to spirit animals, but didnā€™t want to start obsessing, so I like to draw animals in abstract scenes. Youā€™re already doing it with the drawing you did of the cross/flower with light coming out of it (thatā€™s what I see, anyways). Maybe drawing some of the stuff out might help you process what youā€™re experiencing?

And your drawing isnā€™t that bad, it reminds me of a cross-shaped flower blossoming all asymmetrically. :smiley:

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Thank you HQuinn, Iā€™m glad you have managed to find some meaningful existence in this world, I hope I can too. Your answer means a lot to me, I really appreciate it. And for what you said about drawing. Sorry for not talking more, Iā€™m feeling really down and tired. But that mean a lot to me.

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its pretty common for people who have hallucinations to find something that means nothing but give it meaning. i use to see a third eye on peopleā€™s foreheads sometimes half closed. closed or completely open.