my diagnosis is: schizoaffective, depression with psychosis, or NOS psychosis
ive dealt with sounds like crickets, sirens, ambulances, and beeping
ive dealt with sights like melting walls, bellowing items, patterns, gnats, flashes, and breathing teddy bears.
delusions, etc
for some reason the dark brings me vivid fully formed visual hallucinations? i cant find why, even after digging and digging.
im just terrified of the day the voices come for me.
hoping it never happens. my brain tells me it will happen when im 22 but thats still a few years away.
thank god for seroquel because it has made the walls and hills be still from melting and breathing
Maybe life is less about stopping the bad things from happening to us and more learning to accept and deal with them as they come. That way, when we get the good things we are in a better place to accept them.
I hope that makes sense. It makes sense in my head. But many things make sense there and little sense elsewhere.
What I’m trying to say is I know you can meet the challenge before you. You just have to consider not looking at it in terms of years but in the terms of getting through the day. The years will take care of themselves. Every day is fresh and a chance to do better. Don’t worry about 22. Worry about whatever age you are right now.
You can make it through tomorrow. It might be a difficult day, it might be great. But you can make it through. And then you can make it through the next day. And the next. And then you might find that it’s been 40 years, you’ve had a lot of good moments and you are in a better place, a place you never expected you’d be lucky enough to find yourself in.
Hi @moth. I also have sza, but mine is bipolar type. I started with visual hallucinations, aggravated by darkness. I heard external voices for years without realizing that I was hearing voices.
Having said that, stressing over what might be is fruitless, All it will do is give you an ulcer and a headache, and you don’t need that. You can’t control the future; what happens will happen- or maybe it won’t happen at all. It is possible to go your whole life without ever hearing voices. It’s certainly been known to happen. Do you have a therapist? If not, is there a professional you trust that you can talk to about this? I am sure that they could ease your mind a bit, maybe make you worry less.
yes, i do. im trying to see my therapist weekly but somehow always end up seeing her monthly lol. i appreciate what everyone is saying for real. it just seems my mind likes to throw curveballs :>
livin one day at a time rn
Living one day at a time is all any of us can do. Baby steps, you know? When each day can be a struggle, just focus on getting through each day. I know it’s easier to say, “Don’t worry” then it is to actually stop worrying. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to bring it up in one of your therapy sessions. Maybe your therapist can help you come up with ways to calm your mind and ease this mental burden.