Schizophrenia.com

Guilty feelings?


#1

I feel guilt. sometimes I feel guilt if I watch a thriller film or if I read a book with horrible things happening. I also feel guilty about reading the newspaper and learning of other people’s tragedies.
but then again I like thrillers but when I spoke to the nurse she said she only likes happy films so now when I watch a thriller I feel kind of bad


#2

I feel guilty leaving my cat alone in my apartment for extended periods of time…


#3

If you want to see a twisted film that will make you feel guilty, watch “The Black Dahlia”. It has to be the darkest film I have ever seen.


#4

Why do you feel guilt? Do you feel you shouldn’t be watching movies like that? Or do you feel guilt that you are attracted to those kind of movies?

When I first got out of the hospital, I couldn’t watch movies with violence or gore. I was worried it would infect me. Now I don’t have a problem with them. My favorite TV show right now is a show called Hannibal based off of Thomas Harris’s Hannibal Lecter.

In my opinion, it’s only when you get to the point where you obsess over violence that you should worry. If all you were to watch was violence, then there might be a reason to watch your input. Only if you start developing a fixation, is there cause for concern. There is nothing wrong with the hundreds of millions of people that like murder mysteries or cop shows. If you ever started getting impulses to hurt people and were excited by those impulses, then you should worry. You are doing nothing wrong.

Also ask yourself this question: Who do you sympathize with? Do you sympathize with the murderer or the person trying to catch him?


#5

I feel guilt because sz started when I felt that I had abandoned my family(in my heart). Sounds laughable, but it was devistating to me. As a result, every film with horror, sadness, too much happiness, or any epic negativity is overwhelming, and I start hearing my siblings call me.
I love to watch dark films but then I think of my family… they’re in this green field… everything is peaceful and nothing is wrong. There is no death. Then I see what I’m watching and it’s gut-wrenching.
I feel guilty a lot, but most of it is sz I imagine.


#6

I carry guilt although I always try to ignore it, but I feel shame and guilt for trying to take my life twice in my life years ago. I also feel guilt for the way I believed about my dog being a demon and tied him up outside with just food and water for a couple of weeks…


#7

I have a lot of guilt about a lot of my past. I’m learning to let it go.

The weirdest feeling is… talking with my sis about some of the incidents, trying to apologize and have her tell me it was her favorite time ever.

When she little, I wouldn’t let her go to school on some days… because I thought the teachers were going to molest her or kidnap her. I’d walk her towards the school, and then we would ditch and go play in the park for a few hours and then go home when everyone else was gone. She would play, I would drink.

I feel a very heavy jolt of guilt for that. Trapped in the house with me… most the day, while I’m drunk… I’ve tried to apologize to her for it.

She told me, it was the best times ever, not only getting out of school… having my undivided attention and getting to do what ever she wanted all day long.

I’ve been learning to let go of some of the guilt.


#8

I guess I don’t have any guilt for anything I ever did in psychosis as it was mostly all directed at my family and they have said they never took any of it personally…considering they were accused of being among other things I’m sure: Anti-semites, child molesters, liers and conspiritors, whores, bitches and sluts, rapists and Hitler look alikes…I think I’m pretty fortunate that they are such tolerant caring people who never took any of it personally or held any of it against me even when it came on the rare occasion to physical violence. I suppose there was one occasion on which I must admit being unjustifiably cruel towards my then girlfriend with a bottle of whiskey and a weeks supply of adderal in my system in response to her having called me a little boy. My actions and words that night I never got to apologize for as she since passed away most probably by suicide.

But as for anything in my pre-psychosis days causing me guilt I don’t have a whole lot to be guilty of I suppose as I was always the loyal lover who got hurt in the end or the good friend who got ditched in the end. I just, I don’t know, there are things I could have done differently when faced with certain situations but hey you can’t change the past and if I had to do it all over again I’m not sure I’d choose the high and mighty moral road in all circumstances anyway.