do you feel that most of the things you do are guilt driven? like I should so I do it rather than other reasons i.e. I enjoy this so I do it, or if I do this i’ll have the ability to have or do that which I enjoy.
just wondering.
judy
I’m starting to feel guilt over some of the things I do. It kind of feeds into my paranoia, too - like I think people were listening in to a strident political conversation I had with my brother, and they were offended by it, or that it is the talk of the whole town how much beer I bought last Friday. I feel paranoid and guilty right now.
I feel guilty over some issues…mainly that I am in a bad loan business that I can’t seem to get out of. we’ve been hit hard with Angie being unemployed over a month so I have to take out the loan for an even higher amount in a couple of weeks…I feel guilty but we have to eat. at least I stopped smoking?
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This was a major issue for me for the majority of my life. Guilt, or Shame as I refer to it, was at the root of all my paranoia and anxieties.
I came across this article from the National Association of Social Workers on how shame feeds anxiety and trauma, and what can be done to rid ourselves of it:
http://www.helpstartshere.org/mind-spirit
Be Well,
Anthony
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Hey @radmedtech I’ve missed you! It’s good to see you back.
I’ve been mopey today. I need to get out of this rut.
My aunt is a social worker and she is trying to get Vocational Rehabilitation to pay for my schooling. Is that possible? (I remember you probably graduated before symptoms, but I’m not sure.)
I am moving to the big city to my original college. I’m majoring in Art History.
It really is good to see you around here @radmedtech - lots of people have missed you
It’s great to hear from you! And it sounds like you’re not letting a mopey day hold you back lol.
I did graduate before my diagnosis, and haven’t personally had experience with Voc Rehab.
From my understanding, Voc Rehab will provide career training; which includes learning a specific trade. I’ve known people who’ve become professional electricians through the program. I’m not sure if it covers higher education, though.
However, having a Social Worker on your side will bring you nothing but good luck! They know how to get things DONE lol. I say Go for It 
Blessings,
Anthony
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I like to say that I am in the Hall of Shame.
When I was going through psychosis I was made to feel that any good thing I did was driven by guilt and nothing more. It was like any good thing I did was being mocked because it stemmed from guilt. In the schizophrenic world guilt is like the biggest force of nature-- at least in my experience.
thank you for that article.
I’ve got it book marked so I can keep letting go.
It seem a lot of people around me can forgive me of my past better then I can. (if that made any sense)
As far as guild driving my actions now???
Maybe a little… I do work harder at keeping the apartment clean because I do feel a little guilty when my sis is doing all the work and I’m sitting on my butt.
I have tried to learn to cook more and pull my share of the day to day because I feel it’s only fair to do so… and I should learn how to take care of my self better.
If I’m really deep down pealing it back… my family is one of many motivating factors that keeps me med compliant… and I use my friends and families support to keep working on getting better.
I guess the anticipation of guilt is about a 3 on the motivation scale.
I think that’s a very important distinction that you’ve made between past guilt and present/future guilt.
Past guilt is technically shame. It’s beyond feeling “appropriately guilty” for what we’ve done wrong, and now it’s an inappropriate condemnation of our very character–which does nothing but damage our confidence in moving forward.
A major driving force in keeping that shame alive are the vivid emotional memories (often photographic in detail) of how WE felt in those moments. And we often feel worse about our hits and misses than those we hurt in the process.
So it’s about facing those shameful emotional memories and forgiving ourselves. Like our loved ones did for us LONG ago 
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