Thank you for being so open and so kind.
I am struggling a lot with guilt at this moment. I wish I could have done everything better. Every day, my wrongdoings pass my mind- and it is so hurtful to remember all of them.
I remember what I said to my professors- perhaps I was being too rude or being too subjective. One of my professors offered me extra hours to finish my assignment- but I didn’t end up following the time and handed the assignment in an hour after the due date. She did end up taking the assignment, though- but when I thanked her in an email, she didn’t respond to any of my emails I have set to her. I have done terrible things to her and she probably is really, really mad at me.
I remember what I did to my boyfriend- I was so ill with my schizophrenia and I had to go to the hospital so often. I tired him out. He called me and said he wanted to break up. After that relationship ended, I promised myself that I will never date again. I am thinking of holding onto this oath for the rest of my life and remain unmarried.
I can’t live because I have done terrible, terrible things. I hurt so many people. What I have done to others will never be forgiven. Maybe that’s why I am suffering. I feel like I can never face others for what I did. It’s tearing me apart.
Sorry to hear you feel this way. I struggle with very similar feelings, especially related to my behaviour when I’m ill. It does cause so much guilt. I lose a lot of sleep and tend to isolate myself from people over it. Feel like I’m an awful person a lot of the time even though I do try really hard
The ones you hurt the most are your kids. My daughter is 21. She was strong willed all her life. When she got in trouble with me I took things away like her Wii or I threatened to take her out of choir. Nothing ever worked with her. She didn’t handle my illness very well either
You done what was right for you at the time. You havn;t been mean to people on purpose. Now you realize the hurt you caused. You are still alive and can do better next time. I felt guilty for a long time cause of religious reasons. I find life is a learningprocess. You learnt your lesson. Eat the humble pie till you feel better. The guilt will pass.
I experienced so much guilt that I developed suicidal thinking, but I never told this to my doctor because I didn’t want to take more pills and ending my life with my own hands, according to my religious beliefs, will send me to eternal punishment so that became a big NO-NO.
What you did to your boyfriend I did it to my family: I went so many times to hospital that my close ones started to lose hope.So not going to hospital again became one of my top priorities.Besides taking meds I found out that sports and hobbies help a lot to improve my health. This can help you break out of that negative-thinking-vicious-circle.
I also did terrible things: causing physical and emotional pain to mom, dad, sister, dog; making fun of people on the internet and in real life, destroying electronics like smart-phones or laptop and so on… if you give it enough time, close ones will forgive and distant ones will forget.
If you punish yourself you will become somebody’s scape goat because they see you are vulnerable. It is enough to say you won’t do it again, that you have corrected yourself.
I just can’t go on without punishing myself. I think that’s the only way I could atone for the things I have done. That’s why I made an oath for the rest of my life and sealed with my fingerprint on how I will never date, nor marry, nor share love. I just can’t go over the pain I have caused. I am a horrible, horrible person…I hate myself.
I actually feel so similar to you. I felt very suicidal when I started treatment for my physical disability. I felt like my disability was a punishment for what I have done to others.
I feel like sometimes they even appear in dreams- so I wake up feeling terrified. I sleep feeling terrified. I guess I am paying for my sins. Thank you for responding- I hope you feel better as well and I hope you are doing well.
I understand your feeling- it feels so awful to have guilt. I hope you are feeling better and I am thinking of you. You are a valuable and loved person to all of us.
I just can’t forgive myself- I cannot be forgiven. I hate myself…I am just paying for my sins. I am a terrible person, undeserving of love. If something happens to me…then it’s because i have done terrible things. Horrible person I am.
Sorry everyone, I just can’t love myself. I’ll try to come back a little bit later when I feel better.
You are not a horrible person just because you’ve done terrible things in the past.
Everybody does terrible things now and then.
What matters is that you regret it, and that you learn from it so you don’t do those things again.
The fact that you feel such strong remorse makes you a good person.
I despise myself. I hate myself with a passion for what I have done. I don’t deserve to be loved.
Why am I such a horrible person? To everyone? I just can’t love myself. The fact that I made a mistake…makes me feel so disgusted about myself. I cannot allow any mistakes to happen.
Whatever I touch dies.
I just…hate myself with a passion…
I don’t know what to do with myself…
You need to forgive yourself, even if you can’t right now.
Everyone makes mistakes. It’s unavoidable, but people tend to forgive and forget as time passes.
Sometimes those mistakes hurt, but they don’t hurt forever.
I’m sure there aren’t many people who hate you for your mistakes. You gotta ease up on yourself.
I have to agree that I am extremely tough to myself. I punish myself for little things- I sent a wrong sentence at work (translation work had a typo) and I ended up beating myself up for it. So I basically hate myself for everything. I just seem to extemely hate myself and beat myself up if I make a small mistake. Even thinking about myself makes me bite my tongue.
I think it will take myself a while to forgive myself- I even beat myself up for the time I fought with my brother as a toddler. Thank you for sticking with me and helping me out. I’ll try to work to love myself more. Thank you so much.
Yep sometimes a Great Leader, right, sacrifices (‘injures’) 5 people to save 1000 so then later on those 5 come after him how can he live with that??? seriously
I really have the same issues with guilt. Always feeling I may have wronged someone. And I too often cannot face them. Really know what your going through. I think it may be that you always feel like your affecting people and you don’t want too. Because deep down you really care for people.
