Thank you @PinCushion that was comforting for you to say. He can’t afford to pay for it and I was paying for most of it which is why I’m broke now…I know I have to prepare myself somehow that he will die eventually, I can’t stop that. Just sucks though it’s sad to think about
It’s the nature of life. Nobody real is happy all of the time. There are good tears to. Your dog won’t suffer his disease anymore when he dies and there’s another puppy around the corner.
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You’re right 
I think when I can afford it and it’s the right time I’m gonna rescue another puppy from a shelter.
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Maybe you should try to reconcile with your dad, if it’s possible. You could use his support.
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I know, I wish that was possible 
It may never be, but know something will always get better no matter how rough and tough things get. And for your dog, I wish the best for them, I don’t know them but I know their an amazing dog. I love love animals. I got 4 cats that get a long like 4 bestest friends in the whole world. I hope you got somewhere stable to live at. I know it’s a sudden change but its better for you. More safer
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Thanks…I love animals too and cats are awesome …that’s sweet that they all love each other like best friends
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Kinda same position as you from about a year ago my dad kicked me out, I was broke helpless and scared ut my girlfried took me in living in poverty but things get better i have a job now and am slightly happier and glad it happened because i learned how to live on my own. Im sorry to hear about your pup 
Things always get better though! Stay strong in this desolate time!
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I’m in a tight spot too. My immediate family is trying to get me to kill my self. They keep arguing with me and not paying for anything. Whenever I go over there, they kick me out and threaten to make me homeless, which they can do because I am dependent on them. They quit paying for doctor visits and won’t pay for me to go back to rehab. Like just now I went and asked for gas and groceries, was given a 20 dollar bill (that’s not enough for either) and then my dad threatened to have me evicted from the apartment my parents pay for me to stay in. Then my mom felt sorry and gave me some groceries and sent me out right as my dad was trying to get her to take some of the groceries back. I stay in an apartment because my sister is disabled and volatile, she’s recently been committed for belligerence, the cops had to subdue her. I had my parents drive me from my apartment to the hospital, because I know when I am unstable, and I was committed for reporting hallucinations, which is not grounds for comitting someone. They upped my antipsychotic by 20% and then discharged me five days later. Sort of a joke, but the point is that I can’t live there. My mother is borderline and clinically depressed, my father has autism and neuropathic pain.
I went there earlier today to do laundry, and my parents and sister told me that it is my fault for being schizophrenic, and that schizophrenics are dangerous and need to be isolated and punished. I argued against it, and my laundry was thrown out and I was forced to leave by my mother.
This is disgusting because when I was up in Kentucky for my doctorate in clinical psychology, which I withdrew from due to medical crisis, they showered me with money and acted loving and supportive. Now I will be applying to law school for the fall once I take the LSAT in June, and meanwhile my parents and sister harass me about being on medical leave, changing antipsychotics for schizoaffective, anxiety meds, PTSD/insomnia meds, depression meds, hypertension meds and GERD meds. I made an appointment to go to a rehab facility, and then my parents said they won’t pay for it. They already don’t pay for doctors- I am treated pro bono, I figure.
They do things like tell me that I was never even accepted into graduate school and that I don’t know my own illness, when I graduated summa cum laude with a bachelors in clinical psychology with honors and honors thesis. Less than a year ago. They even say that I never went to Kentucky. It’s like they are just invalidating anything I say or do. I point out to them that with my GPA and current test scores in verbal reasoning and analytical writing, I will get in law school, and they say they don’t care.
My sister tells me to kill myself and that no one will miss me. I ask her why she hates me, and she says it’s because I was born.
This on top of studying for the LSAT and banking my whole life on the test in June while I can’t even get a job washing dishes (seriously, they rejected my application) is not okay. On top of how I have chronic symptoms, its unimaginable pain.
Just know that someone else very well knows your pain, sees it, and wants you to know that you aren’t alone…I’m that person right now…I’m sure everyone else on this forum understands and accepts your situation. Our lives are hell, but we are stronger than the torment is. Our hope and perseverance as well as resilience make us tougher than anything we get thrown at us. Just now that when we see each other eye to eye like this, we are doing what humanity does; we feel each other’s pain, and we survive.
I don’t mean to be all dramatic, it is just serious as ■■■■. This is drama. This is for real. Times are tough. So are we.
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Seems like it turned out positive for you, That’s good! I hope the same will come out of my situation as well @mboston117
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Sometimes if you take rotten lemons you can make some damn good lemonade 
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Wow. The things that are being said to you by ur sister is just ■■■■■■ up and wrong. I don’t get people sometimes I just can’t relate to their heartlessness …if that’s a word…anyways, I’m sorry you’re going through that. This disease shows no mercy sometimes, I hope things get better for you. Which I think it will, I’ve seen a lot of your posts and you seem like a real intelligent guy.
I have gerd too btw!! It’s bad.
I think I will pull through. Ending it all seems rewarding, but living well as a mental health lawyer, helping people who I can understand while enjoying a prestigious profession, that sounds better than ending it all right now.
Besides, I want the people who pick on me to come back asking for forgiveness some day. When I was in junior high, I let everyone abuse me until I punched the ringleader down outside of the church. Everyone starting begging me to be cool with them. I want that satisfaction of beating abusers again. This time, it is living well while they will rot.
See I’m saying this because I wanted you to know that I looked at how you were feeling, then how I feel, and it looks like we feel the same. I can do therapy, I’m well-trained in it, but in my experience, just real talk about life is what helps, not the scientifically tested and formulaic talk treatments. This is just me and you being in the same wavelength, like we caught each other’s SOS. This is real stuff, I don’t live for fakeness like the fake support some people have shown me.
We have a tribe of neurology. I even have a tribal tattoo because of it. People have no right to tell us how it is, only we, as a distinct people, have any clue. That’s what I pitched in psychology, and there are lots of opponents to what I advocate- well ■■■■ them, I will be a real advocate, a ■■■■■■■ lawyer. I have a 3.9 GPA and my practice LSAT without studying one minute was already above average.
■■■■ the haters. I ■■■■ them with knowledge, because knowledge is my only power beyond my body and training in hand to hand combat.
Take this as a cautionary tale about when people say they understand. Unless they have it themselves, don’t pay attention. Fortunately I’ve found therapists who do have histories of things I have suffered from. The only reason I even knew that was because I have the education.
You will have to fight for everything that is good that you get. My therapist had to, and relayed it to me. I’m relaying it to you. We fight.
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Yes we are fighting similar paths and have major struggles!..and I was a psychology major myself, graduated a couple years ago with 2 degrees. I really wish you luck with your studies and everything that comes with it.
You have to stand up for yourself and not rely on other people to stand up for you, and when people realize just how strong you actually are they think twice about ■■■■■■■ with you. I think you’ll help a lot of people because you can relate so well…that’s what I thought of myself too.
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Holy crap AUQ that sucks. Maybe you don’t have to tell the jobs you apply at that you are schizophrenic. I don’t tell any of my prospective employers. Although I am kinda wondering if I should tell hr when I actually get a job. Here’s hoping you are able to get a job. I’ve been searching for one for a while.
I recently took a test to be a toll collector in my city. They gave me 93 points for being a veteran and 5 points for what I assume was a perfect test. Why even have the job application process. I was fifth, I think government employees and disabled veterans got more points so were hired.
Also @AmateurUnlicensedQuack and @EmilyTheStrange I’ve seen government jobs asking for people with psychology degrees on the government jobs website and usajobs.com. Not that many of them but it is something.
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Take a deep breath. It will get better. You are stronger than you think. A couple years ago I had hit bottom, couldn’t get a job, was hanging out in my car all day and sleeping in a shelter. I was so ■■■■■■■ stressed out I thought I was going to collapse but I am still here. Take it one day at a time. Get your SSI straightened out and then move to the next step. You have this website and your mom for support. As far as your dad, I had a therapist tell me 20 years ago “there’s no law that says you have to love your parents.” If he is abusive, let him go. Move on with your life.
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Thanks @47average
I do have to move on from my dad…
and I’m thankful for my moms support and the people on this site. It’s refreshing…
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