So the bad news is that my grandfather died and I’m really depressed about it today, he was 93 years old and he was very sick in the hospital with pneumonia for two weeks now. The funeral is tomorrow and today is the wake. It’ll start in a few hours.
The good news is that I passed my anatomy exam, not with the highest note but still pretty high, I was stressing for no reason. I was positive I was going to fail, didn’t happen.
Live and learn.
How’s your day?
Well he lived a long life. Sorry for your loss
I lost both my grandparents a couple years ago
The funeral was a celebration rather than a mourning
Congrats on anatomy btw
Sorry for your loss.
My grandparents died in the 1970s and 1980s.
The life goes on.
So sorry to hear your grandfather passed. 93 is a very respectable age. My grandmother died last year at age 102. At least he had a long life, and you had the pleasure to enjoy his life for so long. Being down is natural, so just let it run its course. A lot of people rush to medication when grieving. Grief has to be allowed to be experienced on its own. To drown grief in medication makes it worse. I know you didn’t say anything about antidepressants - I’m just making an observation having had my fair share of grief in my time. I lost my mom when I was 11, and my dad when I was 19. Just do your best, and hang in there.
Glad you did well on your exam. It’s getting to be finals time, so hopefully soon you’ll get a reprieve.
Sorry for your loss, Minnii. I’m still getting over the loss of my mom so I know how you feel. Yeah people are right, life will go on.
I’m sorry you lost both your parents. I lost my dad too, it sucks. Especially when the relationships are somewhat difficult and we have to learn to live without forgiving during their lifetime.
My grandfather gave me a lot of support over the years, he was really there for me when noone else was. So I’m going to miss him a lot.
Yeah, if I pass on the next anatomy exam I don’t need to do the final. Crossing my fingers on this one, the final is ten times harder.
Sorry about your loss. 93 is a good long age. On the other hand congratulations on passing your anatomy exam.
I’m so sorry, Minnii. I know he’d been sick, but you can’t ever prepare for this. My thoughts are with you and your mother. I am so sorry.
I had a very strained and acrimonious relationship with my father at the end of his life. In fact, when he committed suicide, I hadn’t seen him in 2 months. How was the relationship you had with your father?
In my opinion, it is harder dealing with a death if you’re not on good terms. I feel partially responsible, and he haunts my dreams. I can’t escape it. The room he died in was straight out of a horror movie, and it pops into my head all damn day with no warning.
My dad sided with my step-mother for about 4 years as he tried to run away from the fact his wife died, and that I was ill. He got it turned around a little after ECT, but he spiraled down again after 2 years, and was dead 3 years post-ECT.
I too miss my dad. I try to remember the good times, and there were many as a child. After age 11?..all downhill.
You hang in there. Talk to your family members about your grandfather, and remember all the good stuff. Things will start to normalize in a few weeks, if not sooner, I predict.
sorry for the bad news …and
congrats for good news… 
take care 
Minnii,
I’m sorry to hear of the loss of your grandfather.
77nick77,
I’m sorry to hear that your mom recently died. Hang in there.
Thanks Tetsuo…
Well, my dad was a bipolar alcoholic, really crazy one too. Very good person also, really generous. We had great times and terrible times. He killed himself drinking, he tried a lot of times to stop eating and just drink wiskey and eventually he succeeded. I was 19 too when he died.
Prior to his death there were a lot of bad years with him in and out of hospitals being commited for being a danger to himself or alcoholism. He tried staying sober once and I hardly recognized him, he was healthy during those months, but I got my hopes up and he fell off the wagon again.
Next time me and my sister found him skinny as a stick, hardly talking, with hundreds of bottles of wiskey wrapped in newspaper in his bedroom. He was collecting them so we would know how many did it took for him to die.
Then I just gave up on trying to help him, and we stopped talking for a while, then we talked and after a few months he died of a heart attack.
I miss the good things about him, he was really funny and a good egg.
That’s really sad. It seems harder to say goodbye to someone if you’re not talking. My dad was dead for 3 weeks when we found him. No one in the building heard the shotgun blast, so he just decomposed there. We lived about 5 miles from each other. The last time I saw him was in court over a restraining order I brought against him. Things were really bad at the end.
I hear ya - it’s very hard to watch a loved one recover from a illness only to fall prey to it in the end. It’s very frustrating and it leaves people wondering if more could be done…if we failed somehow. Every f*cking day I go back in time to those days in Virginia when I was a prick to him, and maybe if I’d been a little less of an a$$hole, he might still be alive. I frequently wonder what was on his mind when he pulled the trigger, and how he got to that point.
One of my last interactions with him was bringing him to the Emergency Room because his psych meds were out of whack, and he was trembling so bad he couldn’t hold a pen to write his name. His hands were shaking like a leaf in the wind. I tried to tell him to get his pdoc to do something, but he wasn’t moved. He was rejected at the ER for admission to the hospital because he didn’t meet their criteria. That was agonizing, because when he died, I called the hospital, told them what happened, blamed them, and ranted about how he might have lived if someone would have done something. 14 years later, I acknowledge that it wasn’t their fault, but at the time, I wanted answers and wanted someone to own up to it. I called his pdoc and threatened a malpractice suit because he had my dad on 10 different psych meds (I counted his bottles when I was at the apartment he died in - and he was on 10 psych meds) when he died. As soon as I mentioned malpractice, the doc hung up, and I went into a rage. My then-girlfriend calmed me down, and I never did end up doing anything.
In short, there are a million different emotions felt when someone dies, and none of them are easy. I’m probably preaching to the choir here, because you already know this. But yeah, it’s damn frustrating.
Do you see a therapist? Might be worth talking about some of this stuff (I need to take my own advice on that one 
).
Oh man I’m sorry you had to go through that. It’s horrible. Don’t even know what to say other than I’m so sorry.
It is frustrating, I could never say goodbye, he actually called me the day before and I didn’t answer. Will always regret it.
I’m starting therapy in January, it’s time… Got things all bottled up, they will eventually burst.
I’m going to the wake now. Thanks for all your support, you’re also a good egg.
Thanks. But what can you do? Stuff happens. It’s life.
I’m glad you’re going to therapy. I haven’t been in years. Another dumb move I’ve made (or haven’t made, if you will).
You’re right about going or having emotions blow the lid off. I never dealt with it, so now I suffer from horrible dreams, intrusive memories and flashbacks, and an unpredictable reaction when someone brings it up. I might cry, I might get angry, I might get reflective, I might feel guilty, and on and on.
Be with your family. Support each other and be there to lend a hand. Sorry today turned out to be so crappy for you. 
First ,congrats on your exam!
Sorry for your grandfather. 93 is a good age though. And he didn’t suffer a lot. Mine died at the age 82 shortly after my father. He couldn’t handle the lost.
Circle of life and death. So it goes.
