Oh yeah- got off topic a little there. Today, I plan to put some of that makeup to good use by applying it, wax my legs, paint my toenails, change the piggies, and decorate for Christmas.
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Well, half hour later and Little LEDās room is finally clean and reorganized even though it wasnāt even on my to do list. Still need to vacuum her room, though. It hasnāt been vacuumed in like 2 months. Luckily it doesnāt really get too dirty, though since we donāt allow shoes in the house, no food or drinks in bedrooms, and we donāt have pets or anything. So it doesnāt really get dirty too fast. Or maybe Iām just telling myself that so I donāt have to feel guilty about her playing in filth. 
And Iāve run out of a lot of steam because Iām feeling dizzy. Maybe Iāll ask my partner what my priority should be focused on. Probably the kitchen, though, since thatās the thing they hate the most. I can get my partner to help with the living room.
Iām going to use this thread a lot today to talk to myself and get every scrap of accountability and motivation I can get. lol
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I am going to pack today to leave tomorrow. I have a lot of things to load in my car.
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How far is your drive?
8 hours 15characters
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Long day. Good idea to get there packing done today. If I donāt talk to you again before then, I hope you have a safe trip. Driving around the holidays can be scary.
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I cancelled my gi doc appointment and rescheduled it. Iāve been having panic attacks and mini psychotic episodes. I need encouragement that I did the right thing, guysā¦ not that I should have goneā¦ does anyone have problems with this?
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Iām going to eat out for dinner again. This is def not my typical eating day. Going out second time in the day
Problems with going to the doctor? Or calling?
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Going to the doc, continuing low blood. I have a hard time leaving home.
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Iām the same way. Being able to cancel appointments online without even having to call has made me really bad about going to the doctor as often as they want me to.
I usually have to rely on my partner to get me to go. Since they have to take off work to get me there and have to schedule ahead, itās good motivation to not cancel last minute.
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I understand how you feel. I end up having to cancel a lot of doctorās appointments last minute because I canāt leave my room, no matter how much I know I should go. I want to do partial day treatment, but Iām scared I wonāt be able to leave the houseā¦ So donāt worry; you arenāt alone.
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Called and got my Botox appointment cancelled since itās not working and not worth the $350 to keep trying. Thanks for the reminder, Trish!
That was always my problem with partial hospitalization. Like, if I had the ability to control myself enough to go to treatment all day every day I donāt think I would really need. I either need to be inpatient or I donāt. Halfway doesnāt work for me.
My doctor wants me to do intensive outpatient, so I made an appointment. I HAVE to do something. So maybe this will be on my āWhat will you do today?ā comment on Tuesday when I have my appointment! Fingers crossed!
Oh- @LED, I wonāt do full hospitalization unless Iām seriously suicidal or psychotic. I have a hard time sitting in the chairs all day because of my back and knees (I have to be reclined), and the place that will take me has absolutely no treatment or therapy over the weekend. They are the only place in the area that will touch me because I need my blood checked for my warfarin. The better hospital- the one that does weekend stuff- wonāt take me.
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Iāve gotten most of my chores done except the kitchen. So thatās up next. Will need to do the dishes, clean up the counters, take out the trash and recycling, wash out the fridge, and mop the floors.
Probably wonāt get all of it done, but Iām giving myself credit for trying. I think I might put some music on and just get as much done as possible.
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Well, I got a lot done but not everything. I definitely did way too much today, though. Feeling pretty awful now. My heart wonāt stop racing. 
Didnāt get most of the stuff done I intended to get done, but got a lot of other things done instead. š¤·
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I have fairly simple goals for today.
I need to cook up these pork chops I got from a food pantry, read some more of my directing actors book, clean out my kittyās litter box, and watch more Twilight Zone episodes.
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