Got counselling today to explain my issues but I’m gonna disengage from this girl. Its pointless to put all my eggs into one long distance basket where the odds are against us in reality. I’m mostly disengaging because I disrespected her which I did apologise for and she understood there was no ill intent, but the fact that we haven’t been able to have a real time conversation through video or a phoncecall makes matters worse. I mean, I find that text can get confusing at times but when speaking in real life to someone, there is a sense of clarity. Problem is that with video calls she is reticent to do it bc of her body dismorphia which I can understand. So we’re just resigned to text and with phonecalls, its hard to get time to do one, because of her living situation
I’m sorry that it hurts you to have to let go but since there’s no realtime connection yet it’s probably for the best. Doesn’t stop it from hurting though.
It hurt hanging on tbh. Felt a lot of pain because we couldn’t be together but when we spoke it was nice, yet I was feeling anxious over whatever I would send her, overthinking to the max
I spoke to my counsellor and they said that disengaging is also a way of protecting myself from rejection, which could be true. But its also the shame I still hold onto for making her feel disrespected and uncomfortable, unintentionally
Nah we sent voice notes and shared selfies and videos of each other talking to the camera. She is a real woman. Even shared me old photos of her at concerts also.
Its just that she’s got body issues which makes her reluctant to get on camera. I know it sounds sus but its plausible too. From what ive gathered she has a low opinion of her looks.
Scheduling a voicecall is also difficult due to her living situation at home
Sometimes I doubt if this feeling flows both ways.
Yeah man it hear you. Tbh there’s a part of me that still wants to talk to her because I hope we can meet one day. I am invested emotionally and getting something out of this is why.
As much as you feel for her, I think disengaging is the best option for your mental health. If she doesn’t want you to see what she looks like, you’ll never be able to meet in person. That’s too hard on you. You need to take care of your heart and mind.
She has shown me what she looks like, its just that I’ve never seen her in real time which i think could help get clarity on lots of things, because I feel like im in an illusion and lots of confusion about where i stand with her..
If she texts me back after my blunder ill probably respond. But for now I will disengage until then.
which i think could help get clarity on lots of things, because I feel like im in an illusion and lots of confusion about where i stand with her..