Gloom and Doom

Hey y’all. Quite frankly, I have the gloomiest thoughts right at bedtime. The day prior will just be fine, meaning you know satisfactory thoughts. But I take trazodone, and when it comes on initially I feel like I am capable of nothing. Gloom paralyzes me all my thought goals in life, ambitions, hopes in relationships, seem shattered for awhile. Seems short but hell has a small time frame. In that that time frame my heart is pounding, head racing. Nothing like a sound mind in the afternoon with the bright sunshine and things to do. And good people to associate with.

Do any of yall experience a gloom? For me its mostly from side effect of med and it goes away. Very hard to endure. Words of advice. I tell myself positive things but I am trying to sleep as this is happening. Sometimes I fall asleep before the initial trazodone gloom feeling. Sometimes no…

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I find that when I’m just about to sleep and there are few distractions that I experience stressful thoughts. During my wake cycles it’s easier to deal with things. When it gets quiet things stir.


Hi Malvok good seeing u here. I like your responses. Few distractions are causing you stressful thoughts, care to get into that? Wake cycles for me are like ok, unless I am overstimulated by social matters… those seem to run and repeat as my mind decompresses for a nights sleep. Yea when its quiet, I mean real silent do you hear like a frequency(best way I can describe it) I mean that sound that is real loud when its quiet, I think its left over from the big bang. Yea they stir for me also. Thanks for ur kind reply.

I mean that when things are going on it’s easier to push things back. If I’m talking to people, or doing things, it helps me deal with the sea of junk that floats around in my head sometimes.

When it gets quiet and there’s nothing to distract me and keep me focused on other things, my head can get filled with a lot of stressful thoughts. Some symptomatic, some just worries and concerns about life.

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I get what you mean Malvok. The more lonesome I am in life. I find the easier I sleep. I was at the gym today, and there was no music playing over the gym stereo system. And it was strange because everyone there was used to hearing music and working out. instead everybody there was talking in their groups. And when I tried to join. You know I’m not natural at interpreting banter, I can see how SZ has been really effecting my body not just mind, as the doctors will tell u, you have a chemical imbalance. We have to manually connect as opposed to natural feeling. Kind of feels like a damn robot. Or artificial AI. But we have to rely for communication by listening to our hearts, literally. We become excited and we share things better left unsaid. Well I shall stop now because the sea of junk that floats in my head is polluting the internet. Thanks.

So true, I feel that way often. For me there seems to be a disconnect and I have to make a determined effort to connect with people. It can be done but there is a need for conscious effort.

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And that conscious effort drains me mentally tiring. It’s an everyday new lesson new determined effort, if a man with sz is going for those goals I’d say he or she is making a conscious effort to recover. Otherwise what options have we?

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I had this happen every night when I was taking stelazine and navane. I eventually changed meds.

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Stelazine and navane. Incur drowsiness? It’s that trance like depressed state.

No. Not trance like. Extremely depressed every night - goes away by morning.

I had this gut feeling like you’re talking about when I took all of my Geodon at once at night. I remember being out with my friends, having fun, feeling healthy, then an hour and a half after taking a fat capsule with dinner, I felt like the titanic when it hit that iceberg. Just down. Real down.

So I told the doc I felt depressed after I took it (and was also constipated from it) so now I take half in the morning and half at night. It works really well for me. Im not entirely sedated (can wake up fine with coffee) am not constipated at all, and I still get the same antipsychotic effect, no voices and delusions and screaming at myself!

I remember just giving up and “passing out” (thats what college kids call falling asleep quickly from exhaustion) and just enduring the gloom for a hour or two before falling right to sleep. If you can’t take your meds morning and night, then you might want to take the pill right before bed and just go to bed before it kicks in so you can just pass out and not stay awake for the doom and gloom.

I managed your problem for a while, you might have to learn to live with it. It’s all about tolerating side effects these days, no one gets magically, seamlessly stitched back up into a sane person. I have annoying akathisia, it’s improved because I take meds for it in addition to Geodon, but I still find myself really annoyed by my left leg moving on its own…but no psychosis for me!

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I am still the odd man on this one. The feelings of doom and gloom don’t seem to hit me at night. They like to hit me as I’m waking up to a new day. The day is dawning and I think of what I have to do, and first thing in the morning even stuff like sit up, wash hair, put on clothing, eat, take meds, all sounds so hard, so confusing. I get very doom and gloom in the morning. A lot of negative self talk happens first thing in the morning.

But little by little I try and pull myself around with trying to think of one thing that is good in my life. After I got that in my head, I try and think of another and on and on. This usually helps me get started. But that low feeling really likes to try and derail my new day.

Well that’s opposite. Maybe ur med is just wearing off by morning and u still feel it’s effect?

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I don’t think it helps much to talk about our symptoms. We get a chance to continue on in them by bringing them up here. Misery loves company! To overthrow the symptoms takes some understanding and some action on the understanding. I wish people on this forum had something good to talk about rather than than the evils of their symptoms. We might be exchanging experiences that have brought us good results rather than moping around and staying stuck. Each time we overcome a symptom, which is no mean task, we should feel proud. This would be something to talk about. Some of us have developed practical, acceptable systems to better deal with the world. These are good, positive things to talk about and they encourage others. Most of us are without encouragement. There’s nothing more positive for us than an encouraging word. We’re all suffering and some of us know why, but the paths we’re on have been chosen by others(family, doctors,social workers,hospitals, etc.) This rankles I know. We need to return to self management.

I do exchange my experiences quite frequently. Positive ones too. If you want moping around and staying stuck, recovery forum is the opposite of that.