I was just driving around last night in the vicinity of my neighborhood and elsewhere. I bought a drink at Jack-in-the-Box Box and I was headed home and I passed the bus stop near my house and someone was sleeping on the bench with a grocery cart full of belongings near them.
If they have the grocery cart it generally means their homeless. It was like 12:30 am and the thought popped into my head that, yeah, I’m going to give them some money. So I circled around and stopped and I said, “Hey, here you go”, and handed him a $20.00 bill. He took it and said thanks but as I was leaving I got a weird vibe and that weird vibe kind of made me feel odd and kind of made me not have the usual good feeling I usually have when I do that.
And then I was heading home and saw another homeless person sleeping in front of a business near my street. It was cold out and I’m doing OK with money so I pulled in about 6 or 7 feet from the guy and said “Hey” to get his attention.
I have to be careful with these guys for obvious reasons but I held out another $20.00 but this guy wasn’t friendly. He was a little rude but I excused it but I didn’t feel good about it again.
And then I saw a thirdemphasized text person. Again, twenty bucks, but at least this guy was civil and a little grateful. But I still didn’t feel right. This doesn’t usually happen and I don’t expect these people to thank me profusely and tell me what a wonderful guy I am but I was just left with an empty feeling that I didn’t like.
IDK, I’ll still give money when I can, it might have been me who expected too much. They have to be careful but when I lived in San Jose where there was a large population of homeless I used to give money all the time and they at least pulled it together and acted polite and grateful. I don’t know what it is here, but the homeless people are more threatening in this small city than they were in the big city.
I’ve gone from seeing one or two homeless people per year (Virginia) to seeing one every day (Oakland). I’ve shifted from “homeless people are always the victims in any altercation” to “it’s complicated.”
Odds are you helped out at least one good guy who really needed it. It was very nice of you to share, and as long as you don’t do it all the time (it would get expensive) I think it’s a great thing and speaks to the type of person you are, a good one. At first I was surprised you gave to multiple people, but thinking about it further makes it seem more and more like a good idea because odds are higher you actually helped someone out who appreciates it.
i give my money to buskers mostly, but i have given a couple times to homeless, and bought meals for homeless. it is a little empty and i always get the feeling im being used and that im not that rich and shouldnt be giving away my money. but there life is not that great, so at least it helps them for 5 minutes.
in a way becoming poor has taught me a lesson, don’t give my money away. in the past i was the same as you 20 bucks here and 20 bucks there. working is hard work, i just don’t give away my money anymore, when i wont even have a decent retirement.
I’ve been on the street before, and a person came up and gave me a $20. I was GRATEFUL. But these days you don’t know if the person you’re giving money to is on the level. There are quite a few people who act like they’re homeless and panhandle. They make good money at it, and they don’t need it, at least not for basic survival. When I want to donate I send money to Feeding America. It’s more likely to help the right people.
I’ve been homeless. A fellow homeless person I used to talk to a lot used to feel conflicted and guilty when people gave him money. He would be thankful, but it didn’t always show. Sometimes people would get mean because he wasn’t thankful enough. But the reason he was conflicted is because he was a recovering addict and had a really hard time spending the money on food or clean clothes instead of drugs. He always tried really hard to stay clean, but cash was a trigger for him.
Not saying all 3 of those people were the same, just that there may be more to it. Maybe they’re overcome with guilt and they wear their emotions on their faces. Maybe they’re just having a bad day. Maybe they’re just really ■■■■■■■ cold and a little cash doesn’t really help with that in the moment. It could be anything.
But, ultimately, look at yourself. What were you wanting to feel? Why? Why do you need their validation to feel good? You did a good thing.
i remember one time i was in phoenix, i had just got off the plane and hiked downtown. in fact i too was sleeping on the streets, but it was by choice. i remember a homeless guy came up to me and asked me for money and i gave him $20 bucks. then he proceeded to walk around the block, come up to me again and ask me for more money and i was like you just cleaned me out. but i remember another homeless guy came up to me and rolled a cigarette and we smoked it together.
that same trip another guy asked me what i was going to do? and i told him i was going to be steve nashs backup point guard jokingly. this is when he was playing for the phoenix suns. i stayed there a week, before buying a greyhound ticket home and haven’t really travelled by myself much since. i don’t remember anyone ever giving me money, but then again i never asked, i have been to soup kitchens though. for me it was a choice not to pay for lodging but to congregate amongst the homeless and sleep outside, thankfully i never got robbed or rained on.
one time i was in pittsburgh, and a lady offered me a subway sandwich and i got moody and told her to get me some borsch and that i was a vegetarian. haha. i feel bad about that now, that poor lady was just trying to help me out, but to me it was a wicked temptation she was offering.
