I may have mentioned this before, but it’s worth a repeat.
I bumped into my Psychiatrist outside of working hours at a local Pharmacy. He had a book in his hand.
Me: “Hi! What are you reading?”
Doc: “Ummm…it’s a book about a patient who wants to kill his psychiatrist.”
Me: “Hey, relax! I’m just here buying milk!”
Then we both burst out laughing. True story! 
I had the Pharmacy lady ask if I had taken my meds before, I replied I’m wearing clothes ain’t I, she laughed and gave me my meds.
The Bank phoned trying to sell me ID Theft Insurance.
I told the guy that I owe so many people so much money, that the poor sap who steals my ID will never get a moment’s peace!
Another funny/ true story.
There is actually a book about this? That is frickin’ hilarious.
In my drug days I was partying one night with two strangers. They decided to drive to San Francisco bay to throw me off the bridge into the bay. They changed their mind but drove my car with me in the backseat the rest of the night raving at me and scaring me.
It’s pretty funny. No I swear it was funny, it really was.
I guess you had to be there.
The time I went off my meds and drove my car out to the desert thinking the comedian Tom Green was waiting for me in a motel room. I had no money so they didn’t give me a room. There went my wild night with Tom Green.
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