Funny stories you've heard

Apparently my uncle as a teenager, stood up in church to give a healing testimony. He said he had overcome amnesia through prayer. Then he stood up ten minutes later and said the same thing.

any funny stories youve heard?

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i ran away from the mental hospital on halloween, my dad answered the door and i said trick or treat, he freaked and took me back, he was well pissed off, true story.

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My friend told me about an alcoholic who used to get messed with when he drank with his buddies. He was known to drink other peoples half empty beers when drunk, so one day one of his “so called” buddies pissed in a beer bottle and siad " here, you want this warm beer?" “■■■■ ya, give me that.” Since he was drunk, he downed the whole bottle of piss. From what i heard, they played jokes on him all the time like that because he was like the wino alcoholic.

He could not tell the difference between beer and piss since he would get so drunk lol. ■■■■■■ up prank

Here is another one.

I used to be in a christian based rehab for hard core drug addicts, i was befriending everyone and praying for the newbies who had nothing but there drug problems and or homeless etc… this couple came in both hardcore drug users, the guy comes in first. Me and the leaders help him while hes detoxing, throwing up etc… we eventually become closer seeing as we are the only ppl in the facility and we cant leave and be accepted back. His so called wife or girlfriend enters the home weeks later after wanting to get off the dope.we meet her and she is crazy as ■■■■ and apparently an ex prostitute. Me and my buddys are joking around one day including the the guy from the couple," we’ll just call him mac." Mac starts telling us about how he loves chips and how his wife loves chips with pickle juice. Due to the schizophrenia and detoxing, i heard “boy i love chips with pickle juice” so i decided to say something funny that was directed toward how much he loves pickle juice. I siad " hey i got some pickle juice for ya, let me just crank some out". He thought i was talking about his wife. Fun fact, when you put a bunch of addicts together that are dry, there will be blood. But we eventually got past that after fists flew and steam let out.

Hah fifteen fifteen fifteen