OK, I find the people here quite well the most of the time… but you, who were severe, labeled even by the psychiatry as almost unsaveble, how did you live that pls?
My docs were shocked by my state, pals… The problem also was that I was ill since kid… it’s saddens me till hell, that I had such a past…
Will I be able to accept that and move forward one day?
At least , I try now… but the others are shocked by how I am and how I was… it’s hard this 
I feel alone with this fate tbh, very alone…
You know about my dad, who was beating till death my mom and my sister all his life, but yeah…
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Maybe I am the only one on earth who knew that…
My sister said, that we saw the hell with him… that the others can’t even imagine that, neither listen to this 
You say, that you are sorry but why I should have gone through that?I turned probably in a psycho with that, for real…
Why I should continue living, while I’ll be a lonely freak, only cause I saw something all my life, which the others can’t even imagine? 
Even the people here can’t imagine this…
Why I deserved that?
I am not liked even here, cause I am a psycho, while I still can’t be something better still…
You have pity about me, but this is hard to carry too 
I feel alone yeah. Even my friends irl are shocked by me…
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No one who knew the total despair?
The despair is a sin in the Bible in fact, but I know what I’ve been through…
No desperate people on the forum??
Yeah, the others were loved by their loving parents…
Me, I knew the terror and the lack of total mental care etc…
I turned into a psycho I know… but at least someone here who understands?
I didn’t accept it or live it.
I found out for myself what my limits are. Many of them exceed what neurotypicals are capable of.
I’m winning, I just tossed out the standard rule book.
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