So hello again! My fellow Szs. The daily struggles for forgiving myself and the never ending battle of auditory & delusions. Sometimes they get the best of me and one of them is into the work field. Im thinking about going back to work, but I get so paranoid like military personal are soliciting behind my back so I can’t find work or even maintain work and it goes beyond just the HR. I feel its all used by technology in forms of telepathy/psychocrazy technology. Talk about extremists to the max. Ill figure something out about this. Maybe talk more about in therapy or something. At times I don’t even feel like working because I feel so stressed out and tired all day. I feel more targeted then a disorder.
So I start going down that slippery slope! In my thinking at times and then my psychic abilities start kicking in even more at times. So I don’t know what to think at times. My head jolts all the time. I move out of peoples way even though I know there behind me or beside me so I don’t bump into them. My clairaudient hasn’t kicked in yet. I need to be a little more empathic about things, but with the Sz at times all I feel is the pain in my head. Everything is so clear at times and I see right through things. Not all of its kicked in either. So im still learning about how sensitive iam to things and how my Sz is such a reality test to me at times. Like for instance when im playing PS4 I just know with my hand eye coordination where the guys are at times with agility and speed.
Other times I just feel weird around people because of the energy they give off some are just like vampires. They literally want to suck the blood out of you (energy drainers). Other times Im always looking around on my computer for unknown IP addresses because I find at times 100 or more I’ve even counted up to 400 at one point even recorded on my laptop with a desktop recorder, because I have an associates degree in computer automation, control systems and instrumentation. Theres certain tools you can find online to exploit software applications to find whos listening in.
Thanks for reading! Thats all I have to say for today! Gotta go get Distracted! hahahahahaha…
Have a good one!
Intounknown