Phil: “Schizophrenics are all whack jobs living in fantasyland, why can’t you get a job and use free will and pull yourself up by the boot straps like everybody else. Anybody can have a job like I got, they just gotta get off their ass and get it. You didn’t deserve the Earned Income Tax Credit (I made 23K dollars in income) I’ve earned everything I’ve gotten, you just want free money. They get Section 8, they get their medical paid (not true, there is no free Medicaid for adults) they get food stamps, and an Obama phone. Yeah, everybody wants free stuff. Housing just goes to social security and sees every dime you have made, they all work together (not true, they’re all separate, you gotta report income on each)” We’ve been fighting since he got home, that is, he is. I thought by him being with a disabled woman with two disabled kids, he’d have more compassion than that.
Try to avoid drinking to cope with bad feelings. It doesn’t always end well. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Nobody chooses to have this illness. I hope you feel better soon daze. I should apply to section 8.
yeah. I think I’ll be alright.
I’m drinking green tea.
thank you.
you know what its like, just ignore it i’d say.
man, I think Phil is toxic for you…he has no compassion whatsoever to talk to you like that…
idk phil but i think @jukebox might be on to something.
good for you drinking green tea and talking this out with us.
your a better person than i am.
I came in my room on my laptop to avoid him
and he came in here screaming that all I do is sit on the internet,
then said he was packing his stuff in the morning and leaving
and I can pay my own bills.
My bills. Now why wouldn’t it be 50/50.
ya, dude needs to respect your personal space.
if he’s not calm enough to realize he made the effort to walk into another room to go off then he’s not helping either of you.
50/50? yes. people have a tendency to gloss over the details when worked up.
focus on yourself and let him cool his heels. you come first.
He went on and on about me getting free money
but he thinks he should live here free
or pay me 200 a month.
This is a 3 bedroom house! And he makes $750 a week!
i’m old school cause it worked out so well for my grandparents and my new parents (dad and stepmom).
bills are 50/50. separate banking accounts are fine, one joint one to pay the bills isn’t a terrible idea. i make my money and she makes her own so i don’t want her to feel imprisoned or like she doesn’t have her bread from her efforts.
no free rides. unless he pulls his weight another way. just let him calm down for now.
he drank every day in front me, to excess, while I was up to now 11 days sober
shows the fortitude and effort you put into making that smart choice for yourself.
says a lot about you.
Seperation sounds to me like a good idea…especially if you are trying to be sober !!
I called my friend Jason, and he said, but your’e an artist
your’e going to leave a legacy behind when you die,
what’s Phil going to leave, his work boots?
Ha!
You are showing strength @Daze.
Continue working on your sobriety.
Congratulations on staying sober Daze! This sounds like an incredibly upsetting fight, and I’m proud of you for reaching out for help.
Maybe take this as a good sign that he wants to leave- so you don’t have to make the hard choice of needing to ask him too.
I don’t know him and maybe he’s got good things going for him, but he’s not heathy for you. You need to be healthy for yourself and the kids.
On the other hand, If the relationship has still a lot of good in it and you think he’s just having an off moment, maybe try to talk to him about how to help and motivate you in a good way. He may be one of those, ‘kick in the ass, old school types’ who just don’t get the empathy thing too well. You don’t need people around who want to drag you down- he should make you feel encouraged, so educate him (as calm as possible) or help him pack…
I’m glad you have good self control, tea is a better choice.
when he gets going like that, I never insult back
but he will try to turn the tables, and say it was all my doing.
He calls me idiot, imbecile and totally wrong on every account.
I’ve lived it. I know what the truth is. He won’t hear it.
Your taking a good approach, not engaging, he seems to want you too.
You know you deserve understanding and kindness, that’s why we are in relationships to begin with - otherwise you can get a roommate to split bills with.
I had a verbally abusive boyfriend (who liked to also wreck my things) when I was in my late teens so I know it sucks to be treated that way. Often (hopefully not in your case) this is behavior that one grows up with - kinda hates but gets used to.
But the truth is not something you should need to deal with, or your kids need to hear.
I hope you can try to find another way to pay his half, and keep yourself well.
My kids are grown and gone, thanks though.
My parents already said they’d help me if I get rid of him.
They hate him.