Felt like such a phony

I’m regressing, can’t help it. I think I’m heading back to the times where I didn’t talk to anyone. Don’t get me wrong, I was really social for a number of years and didn’t think twice about it.

My roommates lady friend came over. She used the bathroom then me and her were alone in the living room while my roommate got ready to go out with her. And we had a nice conversation for about 5 minutes. There were some silences and awkward moments but it went pretty well. Too well. Then my roommate came in and we all talked and everybody was friendly. But I just had this nagging feeling afterwards that it wasn’t me. it’s hard to describe. Maybe I’m analyzing it too much. I just didn’t feel real. I mean I’m as friendly as the next guy but…


This. I don’t do voices but do paranoid sz pretty bloody well. It’s in your head and that is the thing. You can see it although you can’t quite separate it out.

It’s worthwhile socialising but you’ve got to be out of that paranoid mindset. How’s the meds going? Do you get other symptoms? Have you been on the same meds for years?

I know it’s probably not what you want to hear but tinkering may be a beneficial thing…or get over that sort of paranoid thinking…but that is the hard thing with sz. It really is.


I reckon it was paranoia too, I’ve had that. Where I think there’ssomething about the way i’m being perceived that makes me think maybe something was off about me.


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