Feeling lost

It is so frustrating. I’m at this point where I feel like I have tried absolutely everything to make myself function like a normal person and failed. Which I mean to be fair you can’t just out-determine your way out of a disability but still.

I want to keep a clean apartment. I want to be an equal contributor in pet care to my pets so my fiance isn’t doing it all. I want to cook all or at least most of my meals a day and stop being dependent on doordash to feed me. I want to take care of my body and exercise every day, or at least several days a week. I want to be making money again and serving society in some way.

But every day it’s the same thing. I wake up exhausted with 0 energy, I sit around exhausted with 0 energy until bedtime. Depending I can also spend the day suffering from other symptoms as well, psychosis, depression, flashbacks, all the usual…my lack of energy has made everything deeply overwhelming to me to where I act like an ostrich and stick my head in the sand to all my problems and responsibilities. And the horrible experience I had with my previous jobs has really turned me off towards nursing and the service industry in general. But I simply don’t know what else to do and so I’m stalling for time. I do feel guilty about it but I don’t know what else to do.

Anyways I’m sorry for rambling. Just at a real difficult place in life at the moment.

summary: I desperately want to meet my goals but feel like my disabilities are weighing me down. I also no longer really know what I want to do with my life career wise which is always a fun crisis to have. I’m in a tough spot in life is all.

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Sorry to hear all the negative stuff going on in your life. I have a little energy in the morning. Don’t you have a little in the morning? I have to budget my energy; I make all my appointments for the morning and run my errands before 1:00 pm or 1:30. If I’m not out of the house by around 1:30 pm then most likely I’m not going out. I don’t have a lot of energy but I have a little.You have literally zero energy?

IDK what to tell you. Are you thinking of working again soon? Maybe a career change might help?

I want to start walking, I figure if I walk enough it’ll give me energy. Gotta build up to it though.

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Sorry to hear you’re struggling @Anna . I don’t always have lots of energy either. Caffeine pills end up saving me a lot of the time. Without them I would probably sleep most of the day, never exercise, and get nothing else done. It sounds like a simple solution, but they make a big difference in what I get accomplished during the day.

I don’t know if you already have caffeine intake in one form or another though. You probably do.

I don’t really have any advice in the job department. I’ve been out of the job market for like 7 or 8 years (hard to believe it’s been that long). I wish you luck with all your decisions, though.

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I used to feel the same way. On oral haloperidol, I had no energy, but now I’m on the haloperidol decanoate shot and I finally have energy again. Also, back when I could afford Invega I had energy.

To be fair, I still need quite a bit of caffeine to be able to clean and workout

You sound maybe depressed. I don’t understand it either. I was a medical Technologist and wasn’t happy for many different reasons. My daughter went into nursing and had a lot of success. I never had much emotional support, maybe she did. Maybe some people experience too much interference in their life.

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