I feel like trash today too. Just wanted to rant. I missed day treatment today and woke up 4 hours past my “scheduled” wake up time. Sometimes having friends and a job training coming up and generally having a good life is not enough. Even working on my diet and my goals is not enough. My symptoms are acting up so I’m having a shitty day. I think I will try to get rid of this sense of failure by going to support group tonight.
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I’m sorry that you don’t feel well supported here @LED. 
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Try CBT. Why am I feeling like trash? Ask yourself questions till you figure out the source of your insecurities. For example, why does missing day treatment make you feel like trash? Because I feel I’ll never be normal. What is wrong with that? I’ll never stop relying on my parents. Keep asking till you feel an “epiphany.” And then face your true insecurity. It is probably something illogical. You will feel much better.
Why do I feel like trash? Because I don’t fit in. Why don’t I fit in? Because I suck and have high expectations and want friendship but that’s not what this site is about and I don’t make friends easily anyways. I need to lower my expectations and stop expecting to be supported by strangers.
Doesn’t make me feel any better.
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Maybe you are struggling with self worth. Think: I am worthy of being liked. Even though I have problems with my functioning, I am able to maintain a family. I am strong and I deserve love. If that doesn’t work, maybe try treat yourself to a relaxing night and sleep it off.
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Exactly what are your high expectations? Are they about being educated, having a lot of money, harmonious family situations, good looks, religion accepting, pretty smelling? I mean not liking something about somebody is bound to happen in some genre or other. I read somewhere on this forum that something about an interest has to be worth the occasional ■■■■ sandwich you get from it.
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Oh god no. Nothing like that. I just have high expectations for friendships. Like, I was hoping that being here and giving support and getting to know people would eventually lead to friendships. But I’ve been here for years and not even really gotten to know anyone. There few people I’ve tried to get to know brush me off as soon as I feel like I’m getting close. This place isn’t for making friends.
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What is your definition of friendship? I feel I have friends here, but not in the same way you make in the real. I feel that the nature of an anonymous website is transient, it goes with the territory. We can love and support each other in the moment, no strings attached. Personally that’s all I have to offer. I can’t speak for anyone else of course.
Like an actual friend. Every other forum I’ve been on I’ve made friends with people and gotten to know them off board in one way or another. Around here I don’t have anywhere close to that.
I feel like garbage as well today, and past few days… I hope yours gets better soon.
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I’m sorry, LED. I’m looking for friendship, too. I always feel rejected by forums. Granted, I haven’t been here for long at all…
I hope you feel better. It sounds like you have people who do like you.
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honey it’s against forum policy to be friends outside of the forum.
Hence the high expectations.
Though, I didn’t realize it was against policy to be friends. I just thought it was against policy to ask for personal info.
oh, maybe I’m wrong. I thought we couldn’t be friends. I thought we couldn’t share emails and facebooks, etc.
Well, we are allowed to pm, at least.
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yeah I pm every once in awhile if I see someone struggling silently, but just mainly use the public forum
Brushing each other off is due to our sz. You have to know that warm friendship is very difficult if not impossible for the mentally ill. So we reach out a much as we can and this forum is a place that is socially safe precisely because it is secretive. Allow us our fig leaves. 
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Too cute @PinCushion. 
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sometimes I feel the want to tell someone here that I love them, when I say it I mean it in a very transcendental way. Like I love the sky and the clouds and the colored leaves floating on the wind in the Fall and all of humankind for what is good about it and like someone who just needs to be loved, I keep extra for that.
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